Yatra naryastu pujyante

The KSRTC bus from Kanjirappally to Anakkal was crowded as always-packed with students. A man, in his late fifties boards the bus halfway and positions himself near the back door- midst of the female crowd. As the bus gathered momentum, he started leaning on the girls around- as innocuously as possible. When one of the girls asked him to move, he replied “don’t disturb me”- arrogance written all over his face!

From the day a girl starts traveling alone, she gets a piece of advice- always have a safety pin handy. You never know, it could be your only solace if a fellow passenger touch you ‘by mistake’ in his deep ‘slumber’. If you are to stand up for yourself and protest, you would be looked up on as an ostentatious female, trying to grab attention by framing an innocent man. You will be doomed if you were dressed in anything that would have lured him. What are these innocent men supposed to do when women around them wear such clothes and makeup-with a sole purpose to grab his attention! 

Over a year ago, a youtube video showed a gang of men molesting a woman on public road. Her mistake- she decided to step out to celebrate New Year, with her partner. What irked me more was the comment of a colleague. “Why did she go out late night? She invited such trouble to herself!”- This colleague happened to be a woman herself!  The bitter truth is that, in any rape / molests cases, our society introspects the girl moral fiber - first. Why did she go out late? She would have been wearing ‘modern’ clothes? – are some of the questions that come out of these dirty minds. Wonder what would be their thoughts on the 5 year old girl, one of the latest victims of the ‘rapathon’. We can’t expect much from a society that thinks out loud – it was the girls’ mistake to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Couple of days ago, a talk show on a regional channel, and the topic- should women be taught martial arts for her self defense or not.  I never thought someone would oppose this idea. Ahem….a grey haired man started talking about the two categories of women- angels and demons. He thinks those who fall in the demon category could be put through any such tortures and it was natural for such women to get raped. Others joined chorus stating it’s the women who are responsible for such atrocities. They ‘lure’ men and as a result, poor men are forced to rape. Women should not wear anything that would remotely attract men and should not step out of their homes after 6 pm.  In a nutshell, women are not supposed to enjoy the various rights the constitution prescribes to the citizens of the nation. If they do, it’s at their own risk!

The protests all over the country/anti rape crusade saw a stringent anti-rape bill getting passed-life term or even death penalty for the convicts. Even after the law being passed, there has been a battery of attacks- making a mockery of the whole system. From 5 years old to 60 year olds….. Every day a nirbhaya falls! 17 years ago- in Suryanelli, a small village in Kerala, a 16-year-old was sexually harassed and assaulted for around 40 days by several men. No protests, no candle lit marches or any gesture of compassion came her way. Her character was scrutinized in the court-rooms and at the end of the trial, 35 of the 36 accused were acquitted.  In the name of enquiry, the girl and her family, comprising of her parents and sister went through a lot of persecution. Relatives and friends severed ties with the family. Now aged 33, she knows her life will never be normal again- family and children, a long lost dream. This is the tale of a family who lost a battle against those who ruined the life of their 16 year old…

How safe are women in our country?  A recent study states that India is the worst country for women among the G20 nations. The very nation whose culture insists treating women with respect and dignity has been tabooed unsafe for them. Fathers, brothers, uncles, teachers……as the so called ‘guardians’ turn tormentors, how secure is the Indian woman? Learn self defense, carry a pepper spray, use apps that could alert your dear ones that you are in trouble…. We get to hear a lot of options- a lot of tips on how to save ourselves from getting raped. But, is this a solution? Will we be able to live free, without fear of falling prey to these animals? Will things change? Hope, I am not hoping against hope!

"Yatra naryastu pujyante ramante tatra Devata,

yatraitaastu na pujyante sarvaastatrafalaah kriyaah"

(Read:  Women are honored where, divinity blossoms there, and where women are dishonored, all action no matter how noble remain unfruitful)