...........

On a foggy morning, as the sun's gaze fell on this part of planet earth, I opened my eyes- from a nasty dream. I shivered- droplets of mist, all over me and fear deep inside my heart. The fear, that would accompany me till my grave! The fear - am sure is not unknown to mothers like me. I wake up each morning, ignoring my ill health, the cold weather, the urge to sleep- with a prayer on my lips- my children….. My pretty daughters……All asleep, blissfully unaware of the cruel world they live in.

Nothing makes me happy than the sight of them smiling at me, all in unison, all in glee…. I forget all my worries and smile with them, play with them. My children, my treasure, my world, my all….. I wished for them all prosperity, all happiness, all the luck they could ask for…. and a long life. They had dreams-fly like a kite, sing like a nightingale, dance in the rain…. I would lie awake, just to listen to them whispering to the stars and the moon. I saw them smiling….spreading their arms, embracing the wind and getting lost in their own world. 

It was just another day and I woke up, daring the cold weather and I smiled on seeing my sleeping beauties. They woke up- one by one and we all geared up for a cheerful day. What started as a mild breeze, gathered speed and we were all swinging in the arms of the gust- unaware of the gaze that fell on us- a dark cloud, set to spell our doom.  Our eyes met- I saw the man approaching us. He had the eyes of a hawk. He kept on staring at my children and I cringed as his palm caressed their soft cheeks. I saw the fear in my children’s eyes and the pain on having been touched with a palm that carried all the harshness of the world.  I screamed, asked him to back off. He smiled at me and touched the youngest of my kids- crushed her. I passed out before I saw her lifeless body hit the soil. One by one their petals fell.....

The agony of being a helpless mother, of seeing the worst of your nightmare come true, of waking up to see your kids- no more. I saw them get killed for the pleasures of a monster. I am alive and breathing- I live to tell the world the story of a helpless mother and of daughters, trampled  before bloom....

                                                                       

Joy to the world......

"Joy to the world! the Lord is come; 

 Let earth receive her King; 

 Let every heart prepare him room, 

     And heaven and nature sing,    

   And heaven and nature sing, 

     And heaven, and heaven, and nature sing...."

Carols...they've got a peculiar charm that adds to the nostalgia... The song that fades in and out in the cold December nights...In the land of latex, letters, spices and achayans….the spirit of Christmas is hard to miss!! The mild drop in temperature, fog that filters through the rubber trees, the vibrant cakes that sits atop the glass shelves of the bakeries, the paper made stars that lit up homes- it’s Christmas in the air. Temporary stalls selling Christmas tree/crib decoratives, greeting cards, crackers etc pops up everywhere-where all our pocket money vaporizes. We used to decorate school buses with color papers, balls, paper stars of all shades, bells, and what not!! There was a silent competition among the commuters of each route- to showcase their bus- the best... Before all the niceties of Christmas, there stood a hurdle- the terminal exams, aka Christmas pareeksha!! From the day the time table gets announced, it’s a wait-a wait to get out of the clutches of the exam monster and leap into the holiday season. A day after the exams comes the Christmas celebrations at school - secret santa and other games, house-wise carol/ x-mas tree competitions and that very evening on the way home, we would unceremoniously bare our school buses off all the sheen and glamour. Freedom from books, flurry of cakes, crackers, greetings...a lot of tv, a lot of sleep, lot of games…  

At home, we had an ivory wood tree, which we christened-our Christmas tree. Mornings, we would rush to the tree to check the damage the mist has done to the paper decoratives, and wait for the sun to tend to those-hurt. We kept on burdening the tree with all colorful things that came our way, till the end of Christmas season. Strains of drum beats in the middle of the night- the carol gang doing rounds- “Shaanta raatri, thiruraathri…” the Santa dancing to the song in the light of petromax lamps. The glee on seeing the carol singers and the sorrow that creeps into the heart on seeing them leave- taking away with them the joy of Christmas….It was sad to see the paper stars and trees disappearing....The joy of Christmas leaves your heart, with a promise to return, a promise as sweet as the Christmas cake....as bright as a lit star.... Sing with me, my fav carol……. 

 “Dashing through the snow In a one-horse open sleigh 

 O'er the fields we go Laughing all the way 

Bells on bobtail ring' Making spirits bright 

What fun it is to ride and sing A sleighing song tonight! 

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way. 

Oh! what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh. 

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way; 

Oh! what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh “ 

Merry Christmas, all…………….

Tale of a tiger balm!!

Couple of days back, as I opened my window pane, I found an empty bottle of tiger balm- on the sill. Every time I see a bottle of tiger balm, I get reminded of my maternal grandfather. Sounds strange huh? Its not that he had a constant head ache that kept him attached to the balm or so. I was his first grandchild and he never got a chance to pamper any other grandchild other than me before he left for the heavenly abode. I had the privilege of disturbing him/ commanding him to do tasks that would delight me. He was more of a buddy to me and I did take advantage of the freedom he gave me. My visits to my mother's house were limited and he used to wait eagerly for each of our stopovers. I was his little princess and much to my moms envy, I took over the coveted place of his darling. He used to tell me a lot of stories. I would wait till he completes one tale so that I could ask him to start the next. On one such occasion, he got tired with story telling. And it was my turn to nag him, asking for more stories. He was too tired to tell me another and so he faked head ache. A two year old granddaughter who had deep affection for her grandpa wanted to soothe him from the pain. The solution- she found a tiger balm and to begin with – she applied it on his forehead, then on his face as a whole. Little did she know that headaches are restricted only to the forehead, and so she applied it all over his body- emptying the bottle. Great love for her grandpa- u know!!! Unaware of those tiny hands spreading love in the form of tiger balm-all over his body, grandpa was fast asleep. Balm set on its work n forced my grandpa to wake up to a pain- known only to him. He yelled on top of his voice- bringing everyone at his reach. For a while no one realized what happened. All they found was a bottle of tiger balm lying all alone and of course-the strong smell of it. And the culprit!!! She was not in the vicinity. And the poor grandpa, though the pain didn't let him laugh at the joke his granddaughter played on him- took the matter light. To cool his burning body all he could do was plunge into the river behind the house. The granddaughter- gets taunted by her mother every time a bottle of tiger balm comes into picture…..

Love of my life....

A lazy Sunday…a lazy me, staring at the flashing images on the TV screen, a lazy fan running at the minimum speed cos of the lazy weather. Phone bell ringing…A male voice on the other side…. We spoke….We kept on talking…. Talking talking…. Until we met, a month later…
Did sparks fly???Did I hear bells chiming???
Our eyes met… we smiled…we greeted…and we spent a whole day with each other, tea n lunch n window shopping… and by the time he left, I wished the day was still young, wished I could spent some more time with him. As my phone rang and I saw his name flashing, with a fluttering heart, I spoke. We spoke for some more time and I realized, he too was hoping for the things that I hoped for “that the day was still young and if we could spend some more time together.” I couldn’t stop smiling as he invited me to spend the rest of my life with him. We giggled a lot….. and wished in unison, “we could have done this in person” :). So, on the 14th of Jan, Sanju & Devi meets for the first time and they fall in love with each other and decide to spent the rest of their lives together...to share all their joy n sorrow...to be on each others side- for ever n ever n ever...

It has been only 83 days since we met…in 83 days; he has become what nobody means to me in all these years. These 83 days has brought me more smiles, joy, memories and what not!!!It feels as though we have known each other for long, that our lives were intertwined and that we were so meant to be… Marriages, they say are definitely made in heaven.There is a heaven for sure, I know.


You meet as strangers and in no time, you become a part of each others lives, you become one…the most important person in your lives. The monotonous, otherwise aimless life suddenly becomes otherwise. You have someone to talk to, someone to listen to, a shoulder to lean, someone to share all your joy, fears and silly talks…. A pair of eyes where you see only you, a heart that beats for you, a mind that thinks of you… Suddenly you have just the two of you in your lives and you just cannot stop thinking of each other.

As my eyes darted, for the nth time on my phone, eagerly awaiting a message or a call…. I smiled…where were you all this while….. what took us this long to meet!!! Everything has its own time, I suppose….. n ours has started… ever since the day we met. I know it’s a long wait till August- 134 days to go!!! The distance and the time, we’ll dare it all… for, we are so meant to be…

I have you....

27 years of waiting …. a long one indeed….
27 years of prayers…. to all gods I know….
27 years of love….. all that my heart could contain…
Now that I have you by my side,
I can only smile……
can only thank heavens…
Pour out all that love to you…
Be with you, for the rest of our lives...

www.annoyance.com

Annoyance
"Annoyance is an unpleasant mental state that is characterized by such effects as irritation and distraction from one's conscious thinking. It can lead to emotions such as frustration and anger. The property of being easily annoyed is called petulance, and something which annoys is called a nuisance."

People, don't panic. Nothing s gotten onto me... Am never that serious writer!!The above statement has been ctrl+c-ed ctrl+v-ed from wikipedia.

So, back to the topic, how often do we get annoyed?
I have a very minimum immunity against annoyance and nuisances. While those close to me can take my trips (they know the threshold) as much as they want -others, please do not cross the border line. (!!!)
I am not the kind who would lash out in anger, I am the kind who would lock you out- keep you in a zone, wherein you’d be tabooed- a pest. I’d swear to keep myself away from such pests. Here are some instances that happened yesterday, and I got infested by couple of pests

Over to the pests……


“Sree…. You look like an aunty”
Ouch!!! A tight slap, a whip lash an electric shock- would have been nothing compared to this verbal stab!!!
I looked at my tormentor, she stood there, flashing all her 32 and smiling at me as though she made a statement on national television. She managed to bring upon pin drop silence to the bay that was bustling with noise prior to the ‘statement’. I managed to snap back,” well, this is how I look everyday”.
She: Well, then may be it’s the attire, I’ve seen you on casuals on Fridays and u look bindaas on them.
Me: Then, this is my Monday to Thursday look (with a shrug to show my annoyance)

Couple of minutes later Miss. G comes running to my desk. Here is the conversation that followed:-

G: “How dare she say such things to you? If it were me, I would have taken her trips” (well, I have produced a polished version of her dialogue in here)
Me: “She was just trying to pull my leg. Its ok, leave it”
G: “Arrey… look at herself, doesn’t she have a mirror at home” (again, her words have been refined)
M: No more dialogues, I just chose to smile this time.

Communicator buzzed. Couple more friends who thought I was deeply offended by the dialogue pinged me and checked if I were alright. Oh hell yeah, she just made my day (&many more days to come)

If I thought I’d experienced enough of annoyance for the day, I was deeply mistaken.Here comes bug #2
To celebrate birthdays at work, we order a cake and later, when the money amounts to a certain figure; we collect the share from the team. As I announced that its time to collect the money, a co-worker asks me this: - “why don’t you accept sudexo coupons instead of money?”
I was just at a loss of words again. Why waste my energy and shoot up my BP with a conversation. I ended the conversation with a simple “No”, as he sat there- glaring at me for having deeply offended his suggestion.

These things happen every single day. If I were to list all these, am sure that would make a good reading for a later stage of my life. Do I want that? Hmm… I’ll think about it and write down, if am sure that I would laugh at it some day. For now, the purpose has been served…. i.e., you may have a laugh. And promise me, you won’t be a pest in ma life…. (wink)

Yet another struggle!

64 years since Independence, and the country says "quit India" to corruption. Its Anna waves all over the media and the social networking sites brimming with slogans against corruption and support for the crusade. I chose to be in the 'Manmohan Singh" mode. For those who haven’t heard about this mode before- it’s the recently invented pseudonym for 'silent mode'. We got to see a confused PM face his colleagues in the parliament- reading out from a script (perhaps faxed from US) - speechless to questions like- “who is running the country?” The otherwise charismatic and crowd puller upcoming scion of the Congress has suffered some severe damage to his image- with his snide comments.

While the whole country is united against the people we elected to rule us, there are many people like me- who has not done as little as snap a finger, for the cause. I believe, I have no right to comment on the whole episode. There is little pride in being a silent spectator, but I clearly do not believe in spamming the social networking sites with multitude of messages. I might not be right, but as action speaks louder than words- I rather not babble about a serious cause, sitting in the comfort of my home!

It ain't complicated

I have absolutely no idea why have I named this post "It ain't complicated'- when everything around me looks nothing less than a maze! This monsoon, it’s the second time am down with flu. Looks like I have a poor immunity off-late. Perhaps more greens n fruits should find its way to my plate. My definition of green is the yummy (!) salads that I get at Namdhari's. Ashu says 'yeeks' each time I tell her I had salad or anything that rhymes with it. I know what would she say if I tell her I had rasam papad n rice for lunch and that I am gonna repeat the same for dinner. She’d ask me to order a biryani or some ‘healthy’ food!
A slight high from the medicines, my daze shifts between the television screen, the lappy, the newspaper.... and so on and so forth. I have been inside this room for the past three days and I can’t wait to get out. Woke up at 7.45 in the morning, when couple of my long lost frens decided to rekindle old ties. I couldn’t be mean, and I managed to say few things in my croaky voice. A couple of coughs and they benevolently ended the conversation. I lay awake for some more time and another phone call from work woke me up. My voice and the coughs again, saved me explanation. Another day off!
A cup of Tata tea life and some Marie gold cookies- soaked in the same tea. There is an online world that is alive almost 24/7, n I decided to hit the virtual world. A bit of soulless conversations would be better than absolute loneliness. I looked at the list of people online. I did a mental calculation before I pinged anyone. I assessed the flow of the conversation:
Me: hey there... wassup?
She/he : Hey devi.. Long time...How are you? Where r u?
Me: am good, thanks. Hw abt u? W r u now?
She/he: am good da.... am in blore too... U still with satyam?
Me: yes... (Well, is that a crime, u grasshopper???)
She/he: so, what else. Wedding plans?
Me: Eh....of course, I do plan to get married... (Someday)
She/ He: well, u should seriously think about it.... (Blah blah)
Me: yea yea, i knw i knw.... (Have you got nothing else to talk?)
Almost all chat sessions come to an abrupt end. There isn’t anything worth talking. And I seriously cannot contribute to diaper changing and family planning talk. So, I end up anonymous in the online world. Last week, a friend said my voice don’t sound innocent anymore (!) what do I say!
So, I must be a misfit among all those people who have moved on the regular way of their lives and who really cannot understand their ‘chweet’ talks. I apologize and now I hope u understand why I never come ‘online’.
Was that the influence of antibiotics or abundance of sleep! there is manichitrathazhu on TV.....
Guess, I‘ve blabbered enough!

tHis aNd thaT...

The murmur of the slow running fan,
Chris Martin/Jason Wade/ David Hodges/somebody else crooning in the background,
Sunlight that seeps in through the green filter of the curtain that covers the single pane window,
the newspaper unfold,
steaming tea,
The absolute silence at times,
A cat that cries in the middle of night,
Those pink flowers that lie lifeless near the gate,
the dog-walkers,
The wet trees, plants & flowers,
The lazy me…..
Life goes on….
Round and round the very same things…
days to months to years…..
The speed is unnerving.

Feels like there is so much left to do and I have so little time.

The big fat Indian attitude!!!

I am proud to be the citizen of the largest democracy in the world. I love my country that boasts of a rich cultural heritage, of the intensely diverse population that speaks around 33 different languages, of the depleting, yet wide assortment of flora and fauna, of the incredible array of landscapes. In spite of all the differences, we relate in some unusual, amusing ways. Is that the color of the skin, the tone of our language, or the unmistakable accent that gives us away? There is much more to it, right? There are lots of things that we all enjoy despite the linguistic and geographic disparities- loud conversations, bargaining skills, hosting bandhs/strikes. We unanimously hate to stand in a queue, be on time, and obey traffic rules. We do not think twice before littering the public road or designing walls with the maroon pan stains or park our vehicles right under the sign that says ‘no parking’ and attend to nature’s call on the pavement. Corruption is not taboo for us; and we see a sudden population rise in places like Tihar jail. A couple of crores from the tax we pay have been effectively utilized in providing security to one of India’s top priority guests- who also happens to be a terrorist! We are well aware of these common factors that bind us and we tend to ignore them. Ignorance, they say is ‘bliss’. So, in the quest for bliss, we have accepted them as a part and parcel of our lives- sab kuch chalega!!!
There is a fresh wave of anti corruption crusade across the country. What began as a fresh breeze has turned out to be nauseating with the amount of politics and personal interests taking a front stage. As TV channels and other news media enjoy a non stop flurry of ‘Breaking News’, we the ‘aam aadmi’ are lost in a whirlpool of bewilderment. A persona hailed today is crucified the next day and vice versa. Midst of all this commotion, the common man continue his odyssey. He has his EMIs to be paid, inflation to fight, prepare himself for a recession that could be somewhere in the corner. He doesn’t care about people who write books labeling him the ‘Argumentative Indian’. He has set his own rules and priorities. Nothing or no one can change his big fat attitude.
“Why should I get involved in the mess? It’s dirty ‘politricks’ after all!! “.We crib about the facilities, about the infrastructure, and sighs “when would our country progress”. All of us cannot be the pillars of the nation, not everybody can find themselves in the Lokshabha or other eminent houses in the country. In building an empire, every stone that goes into the structure plays its own role. We may not be involved in framing a law, but we are the brand ambassadors of it. We cannot fill in the potholes in the road, but we could stop throwing filth in it. Little effort goes into doing simple things like standing in queue, following the traffic rules, apt use of resources etcetera. What is stopping us in making a difference in our own teeny-weenie ways? Let us not wait for someone to come forward and urge us to join the wave of change. We are the waves and let us bring the much needed change…. A change for good…For starters let us kiss good bye to the big fat Indian attitude!!!

Dear Padmanabha...

Dear Padmanabha,
It has been a while since I paid you a visit. I hope you know how much I enjoy a visit to the beautiful shrine of yours. The tears that blur my sight, as I stand hypnotized in front of you. You look relaxed, yet so much in control- the mellow glow of the oil-lit lamps. The sight is such a vista that I forget my prayers and stand, blind-folded in your enigma. Wish I could have a glimpse of the whole of you, but there is a beauty in the darshan through the three doors. From the time, my feet leaves the comfort of the footwear and kiss the coarse sand, I feel your eyes on, my every step. The cold breeze that strikes my face, the smooth stone beneath my feet…the aroma of burning oil, of nivedyam, of sandal, of ghee, of faith, of Padmanabhan…..
Each visit feels new to me, I come to you with a set of appeal, sometimes a bag full of complaints. One look at you, and I am lost. All I can ask for is your blessing. I know that you know what I want in life. Yet, I wanted to talk to you about so many things, things that went wrong, missed opportunities, wounds that hurt my mind, of the mild joys and occasional triumphs. In front of you, I realize it would be stupid of me to recite things that you are already aware of. So, I bent my head and ask you to be with me, take care of me and forgive my mistakes. I return, bliss hovering around me, like the smell of the sandalwood. The cold breeze that strikes my face, the smooth stone beneath my feet…the aroma of burning oil, of nivedyam, of sandal, of ghee, of faith, of Padmanabhan…..

Revival !!!

I have been talking a lot about writing….. Writing is good, is an emotional let go, is a stress buster...so on and so forth. Monday 27 September 2010, 6:11 PM: my blog comes to an unofficial standstill. Not that I didn’t want to write. I kept writing. On notebooks, word documents spread across different drives of my laptop. Things that I didn’t want to disclose, too personal-rather too mushy. None found its way to this page.
As my manager introduced me to a senior in the team, he said “perhaps she is the only one in the team who has got a blog”, I felt guilty. I have a blog and I’ve let it die a silent death, and I tell every second person that I wanna pen a book all by myself. I am talking irony here. Me- who can’t maintain a blog, is talking about authoring a book! While I still dream of getting my anecdote printed, let me do justice to what is alive and breathing at the moment. Lemme breathe some fresh air into this page. Thanks to all my friends who asked me, “no new posts?”

For the heck of it!!

bored!
aimless!
tired and numb!
well...its been a long time and i wanted to scribble something and did so!!
just for the heck of it!!!

guess i should do some serious writing...
my mind.....sluggish and at its laziest best ....can u hear me????

Those days!!

Well…well… as each weekend pass by- I am bidding farewell to my friends. They are either moving to other cities or are moving on with their lives- entering matrimony or motherhood status.
Saw Litty online after a long time yest and she breaks open the news to me “Nami is pregnant”.To which I reply-“ohh …wow... N so is Anju”…and then she says-“Tini too”!!!!!
So, we are prospective aunts to three cutie pies! :)
Time is flying and school days-a good 8 years ago- seem like yesterday. Feels like we all met few months back and that we are still those teen gals-giggling n gossiping- about anything and everything under the sun! Eager to explore the world, eager to know what life has in store for each!

They were all in the same class- commerce dept; and me and Linta, in Science. The bunch of girls from ‘Anakkal’ school was a topic of great interest to the other mates of St.Mary’s-the not-so-happening school. SAP=ians (that’s what we used to call ourselves even before we heard about SAP Labs). The SAPS hostel had a ‘Houseful’ board, by the time our parents decided to put us in boarding schools. As a result- about 8 of us were sent to this hostel-an arrangement between the two schools. This hostel was much better than our school’s. With a pretty compound, lots of guava trees, lovely garden, a nice chapel, and lots of nooks and corners to hang around. Moreover- it was 3 kms away from school and so we had the option to loaf around the town. The lemon juice at the chechi’s shop near Akkarappalli, the puffs and the chicken rolls at Kottaram Bakery, the Amala book shop- these were our usual stop-overs.

Talk about people- a crazy bunch of girls- a weird mix, from places in and around Kottayam.
The replica of an NRI-Litty (from Bahrain), with her wide eyes, funny Malayalam and huge bottles of Nivea moisturizer;
Tini- the pretty girl with long hair and pretty eyes;
Linta-the studious of the lot;
Nami aka Namitha (another NRI!)- the funniest ;
Neenu- the one who could sleep even while she walked;
Treasa – the geek
And my dear dear mariamma aka Anju Maria Kuncheria :). I have already written 2 blogs on her, so !!!

It was a nice group- one that instantly hit off! We were the noisiest in the whole building and each of us used to hate the study hours. The warden was a sweet nun- Infant Mary. No comments on the food that they served there…the maids in the kitchen were the villains. They used to stand near the place where we disposed our plates and made us eat the leftovers in the plate. I can count the number of weekends that I have stayed in the hostel. I used to rush home, every weekend-skipping the entrance coaching classes!

Studies…well…I kinda lost the flow -petrified with the syllabus and a flurry of geeks!
My brain was so adamant, and stood still against the flow of bits and bytes of Physics, Chemistry and Math. Biology and English were my favorites as ever and by the end of first term- I came to a conclusion that I would take up literature for my degree!But,fate had other plans for me.

2 years-such a short time and we were at the end of our school lives. Now, 8 years down the lane- after a chat with one of the hostel-gang, am reminded of few funny incidents. An earthquake, a mishap in the kitchen, etc etc…. more blogs to come 

Raavan!!!!!!!

chik...chik...chik...chik...chik...chik..(No, its not the chicklets ad)
bak...bak...bak...bak..bak...bak...bak...aaaaaaaaaggggggggggrrrrrrrr.....more srceams...continuous rain...mud(!)-stained facchik...chik...chik...chik.....(No, its not the chicklets ad)
bak...bak...bak...bak..bak.....aaaaaaaaaggggggggggrrrrrrrr.....more srceams...continuous rain...mud(!)-stained faces...thats all I could recollect as I came out of the theatre after watching the much awaited-Raavan!!!!Sacrificed -a Saturday morning slumber that was part of the ‘weekend’ package,spent abt 150 bucks on the rik, a breakfast on an awful and overpriced sandwich and rushed to the show that was at 10.15- all for this!!!
Even music by A.R was quite disappointing. This is the first movie of Jr.Bachan that got released this year, and mind you-the year is six months old.Feels like Beera’s role wasn’t tailored for him. Would have been better if Vikram himself did the role in hindi as well. I got a head ache listrning to the shrieks that was a part of the script. Beera- well, who was he? A bandit?a naxal? Robinhood?or a modern-day-raavan!
He is taking revenge on those behind the death of his sister and as the story progresses-gets diverted from his mission- cos of the presence of beautiful Ragini in his life. He gets carried away by her and is willing to let go of Dev(the Ram)- the police officer, just to make Ragini happy-revenge forgotten. The dus-sar-waala Raavan –fails to impress the audience. And I couldn’t stop laughing at the multani-mitti(!)-stained face the junglee croud adorns.
May be I expected too much from one of the most brilliant directors of the country. All I can say is that I regret the amount of money I spent on this piece of ART!!!

Life without you

27 days!!! It has been this long since you walked out of my life. I have been struggling to cope with my life in your absence, but it’s not as easy as I thought. I still cant believe that you are no more there…I feel you are there somewhere-hiding in a place, where you’re sure I wont find out… I still remember the day you came into my life, about three years ago… I met you at one of those busy malls in b’lore and it was love at first site- I knew you were the one for me. Since then, I kept you close to my heart…you were always there with me- from dawn to dusk ,in my good and bad times …you reflected my emotions- glee, grief, solitude…you were always on my side and I loved you for that….for the perfect companion you were to me…

On the fateful day, when my health wasn’t at its best, I was heading home from work. I knew something was wrong apart from my illness (intuitions!!!).When I realized that you were missing- I was frantic, but was too weak to go in search of you. I was too tired to think of you, rather- I was sure that you would be somewhere around- the over confident me!! But as time passed and there was no sign of you....I was shattered… It was tough to digest the fact that you wont be there to share my life-pretty devastating. It’s been 27 days now and I am still trying to get accustomed to living without you… You must be with someone else now…they might be taking good care of you…I wish you fall ill…wish your hardware fail…and the person whoever flicked you from me- never get to listen to you… Meanwhile I am hunting for a better Ipod- a newer version… Anyways you were pretty old and outdated… I will get a better MP3 player!!!!

Mountain of Light.....

History was never my favorite subject. I stumbled upon an article as I browsed the TOI website and the next thing I did was a little bit of research (me…research!!!). In the past half an hour or so, my GK improved-got an insight into history and am left wondering at the transition of our country from one of the wealthiest to a ‘developing’ or ‘third-world’ stature.
So, here we go…

63 years! After a pro-longed wait, finally the Archaeological Survey of India feels, it is time we get back-the precious possessions that we were looted off, by the British-including the Kohinoor diamond and the Sultanganj Buddha.Countries like Mexico, Peru, China, Bolivia, Cyprus and Guatemala will join India in this campaign-to get back the antiquities that they were robbed off.While these countries get busy preparing a list of the lost treasures, let us wish good luck to all the countries & to us!!As to what the 'accused' got to say-lets wait n watch....
Have a look at the article.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/India-wants-UK-to-return-Kohinoor-other-artifacts/articleshow/5999070.cms

Meanwhile....a small talk on Kohinoor-"Mountain of Light"-a 105 carat diamond that was once the largest known diamond in the world. The Kohinoor has an interesting history and many myths associated with it. The 'mountain of light' has travelled a long way, from the mines of Kollur (Guntur dist, AP) till the Tower of London-where it rests on the Royal Crown, along with 2800 smaller diamonds. Before it reached the crown of the Queen of England, it had been under the possession of the Kakatiyas, Raja of Gwalior, Moghuls, Nader Shah of Persia, Ahmed Shah Abdali of Afghanistan & Maharaja Ranjit Singh of Punjab. It was Nader Shah of Persia who named the diamond Kohinoor. He was so impressed by the stone’s brilliance that he cried out “Koh-I-Noor” in Persian that means mountain of light.

The priceless diamond is said to have a curse associated with it. “Only God, or a woman, can wear it with impunity."
The kings who possessed it, suffered misfortunes such as death or lose of throne. Legend says that whoever possesses the jewel will one day rule the world and that no man shall dare wear it. The fact that, Queens Victoria and Elizabeth are the only monarchs who have worn the Koh-I-Noor and lived to tell about it- is a proof that underlines the myth. If the British monarch is a male, the stone is passed to his spouse.

Kohinoor has been a favorite ornament to all its possessors, and none of them were willing to part with it, in spite of the misfortunes associated with it. Aurungzeb made use of the 'Koh-I-Noor' as one of the eyes of the peacock, adorning his 'Peacock Throne'. On Aurungzeb's death,the diamond went to Mohammed Shah, who chose to hide it inside his turban. When Nader Shah invaded his dynasty, an aide from Mohammed’s harem revealed the stone's hiding place to Nader Shah. Shah tricked Mohammed to a ‘turban exchange’, at an official gathering –in token of reconciliation. And the jewel gets a new owner!

Shah Rukh, Nader Shah’s successor- had to undergo tremendous torture before he let go off the diamond to Ahmed Shah of Durani Dynasty. Misfortune reigned in all generations of the Durani dynasty- and finally along with the end of the dynasty- the Kohinoor was bought back to India, by the Lion of Punjab- Maharaja Ranjit Singh. After his death,his son Duleep Singh-who was a minor then,entered into a treaty with the British. One of the terms of the Treaty of Lahore, was as follows:-
"The gem called the Koh-I-Noor which was taken from Shah Shuja-ul-Mulk by Maharajah Ranjit Singh shall be surrendered by the Maharajah of Lahore to the Queen of England."

Lord Dalhousie was liable of this treaty. The diamond left Indian soil in 1850, when Dulip Singh, aged 13- was sent to England, to present the jewel to Queen Victoria. The ship that carried Kohinoor had a difficult voyage-was it due to the curse?
Lord Dalhousie's great grand son,countries like Pakistan & Iran- are others who have raised claims on this jewel. Britain has denied any requests regarding return of Kohinoor and has stated that they would not return it to any country, as the diamond was formally produced to them as part of the Treaty of Lahore.
Interestingly, the first Prime Minister of Independent India renounced the claim to the diamond. He said, "Diamonds are for the Emperors and India does not need Emperors." Well, India is a democratic country and majority would take those words as coming from one Mr. Nehru and not the voice of the whole nation.
Our country has many issues to deal with including poverty, and the acquisition of a precious diamond may not be of pressing demand. We may not have emperors.But,won’t it be nice to have a diamond -the worth of which can feed the whole world for 3 times-back to our country?...back to where it belong…..

Go Green!!!!

How can paper bags contribute to the cause- “go green”- when its’ the making of paper that’s one of the main reasons behind deforestation!
Its ‘go-green’ day at my workplace & stalls are everywhere promoting paper bags. Irony is that; I saw few posters that has trees that says ‘please -don’t cut me down’. Quite a lot of paper has gone in the making of these paper bags –today- in this work place alone. Think about the paper wasted in the whole city, country, world….on just a single day!

Well, we are in a dilemma. We need to get rid of plastic from the system n the substitute is none other than paper! As we require more paper, more n more trees die!
May b we should try other alternatives than paper-when we say, “go green”. How about plant a few trees? Wont’ that be a better way of getting close to nature…
I have decided to get at least an indoor plant 2day…I know. It’s just a meager step. Still, I am not killing a tree, am welcoming a living thing in to my life…

Dogs & Me....

A weekend, one of those days when you got nothing else to do-other than watching movies n eating junk food…Today, I was doing the same…There are things to do, need to cook dinner, take a shower,get some groceries…am just plain lazy…just cant take another step from where I have settled…got a bottle of water,packets of chips n a cup of almost cold tea…Am just back from a trip to Mookambika and am tired- yes I excuse my sluggish state….

Saw two movies- The Ugly Truth (gerlad Butler!!!!!!) and Marley & Me. And the movie of the day is –Marley & Me…simple movie, and Marley has touched my heart. Marley, the wild wild dog that would have scared the hell out of me-if I were to face him in real…off-screen..



Well, I am not so much of a ‘dog-hater’. I would stay a good 10 feet away from any dog that cross my path. I am pretty scared of dogs….well, it’s a story that dates back to a misty morning of some month in the year 19xx, when I was a school-going kid- who had to fulfill the duty as a PA to her grandfather. On a weekend, when I was relishing the last few hours in my cozy bed, I was woken up by my boss-my granpa, and was asked to go fetch-Paappchan, the man who taps our rubber trees. I woke up- muttering things I couldn’t tell on his face & left the house in a hurry.As I neared his house- picked up speed and started running. I felt light steps behind me and saw him…a dog, his tongue out and legs-much faster than mine. Before I put forth my next step, I let out a scream- one that echoed till my home…and started running, faster- cursing the dog, Pappachan, granpa, my fate….The chase was almost coming to an end- I could feel the dog’s breath on my leg and all I could think of was a ‘blood stained Me’- fighting, to let go off the animal’s claw. Yes, it had caught hold on my frock-my beautiful black frock- and where would the next bite land!!! I kept screaming and more footsteps and voices- felt the hold on my frock release. I was free……god…no blood, am not hurt- yeah my throat did hurt from the screams…The dogs owner apologized and I remember-staring at her so hard that she stopped apologizing. I started walking to Pappachans house, woke him up. News travels faster than fire and so did my scream. At home, I was inspected for wounds. There was a scratch on my foot, one that was definitely not the work of the animal. Yet I was taken to hospital- & injected!!! Since then,I can never remember me being nice to dogs, or vice versa.



I always stay-away from dogs. If I see a dog coming towards me, I would cross the road. I am scared to go out on walks as I am scared of stray dogs. My friends-who know my phobia of dogs-, would play with stray dogs- to taunt me. Things change, don’t they? I met Pluto, my buddy Ashu’s dog. The first time Pluto came running to me, well, I did not scream- but was terribly scared. I shuddered at each barks, got petrified -having him around. I got used to his presence under the same roof- and started being friends with him. I was no more scared of Pluto. It’s Pluto who made me think of the positives of having a dog. Back to Marley & Me… it’s a wonderful movie for all dog lovers. Wont it be nice to share your roof with someone-who would love you unconditionally, who would wait for you-however late you may get, one who wouldn't complain and would listen to all your stupid talks and would never interrupt???



Well, I think it would be wonderful to have a dog. A buddy who can always be trusted. Now I guess, I should stop getting scared of other dogs as well!!!

Acquaintances

You are leading a peaceful life…nobody to order around, no commitments except for those at work….you are just free and your mind as light as feather…You are happy in your world, minus the occasional stress n strain. You crib about your work, of global warming, of other developed nations, of infrastructure. You live in another city-nostalgic about the green Erumely and Kanjirappaly- only to return to the urban life with a cry “oh, how I missed the Subs n KFC and Mc D”. You long for sun when it rains and pray for rain in summer .You are just full of irony, aren’t you?? On one such ironical days, am awake when everybody else is asleep….and, what you gonna read –my friend, is the result of my sleepless night. So, u better pray that I get enough sleep…

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Well, this chap who hasn't uttered a word to me in all 4 years of college life, pings me all on a sudden. A smiley- which was ignored (don call me rude…I just didn’t have anything to talk to this person) Next day, a bold “HI”… (“ “).
You look at the social network sites and wonder at the new friend requests- have I met them b4? Is he/she an acquaintance?? I have this way of categorizing friends- best buddies, buddies and then acquaintances…


Talk about acquaintances…..There is this phase in relations when you wish,”oh, I should have never met this person”. Unfortunately, I feel the same about many people who came into my life. At school, college, work….everywhere, you make a mistake- choose the wrong people… Wait, it may not be some random people who just say a hi, bye or those regular just-for-the-sake-of-conversation terms. I am talking about those people whom you give that special place in your heart, whom you tag-the most trusted-most reliable secret-keeper, whom you consider your one-stop-solution to your entire dilemmas, the one whom you think-matches your wavelength. It’s all smooth and fun as long as you think its prefect. The word perfect, is one of the least applicable as far as life is concerned.

At some point of time…the color starts fading, wavelength-no more at synch; secrets just start bothering the itching tongue. The tag changes from the most trusted to the least in no time-from best buddy; to an acquaintance. You pity the amount of time you spent on a worthless relation and start withdrawing into your cocoon of ‘I shouldn’t have-s….’ So, it’s over. You start doubting your people judging skills. You take lessions on ‘how not to trust people’. You think twice, thrice…over and over before you talk to a person. You start being that extra cautious…Sum total of all these processes- you just got this scanner installed in your life- the one that beeps at everything and everyone ‘suspicious’.

Life is pretty strange. The person, who you are right now, is way different from how you used to be few years back. I can no longer laugh at the jokes which would have entertained me few years ago. The same goes to people, places and conversations. The younger me- was very different. Stupid-is the right word. And how I hate the person I used to be…. It’s not that I was mean or anything. Its just that the younger me made the mistake of making a lot of acquaintances- totally unnecessary, worthless and held them close to my heart. Believed -nothing is a secret in life and that you should just open your thoughts to those ears that acts as though- they are specifically designed to listen 2 u. I just thought…you ought to be honest. I still do think so….but with a slight difference… be honest to yourself first.

So, in a matter of 25 years, I have acquired certain gyan from my inner self.. Think twice/thrice/as many as times b4 you trust a person. When you make a friend, you have also made a prospectus foe. When you pour your thoughts to another ear-remember they are not yours anymore… Stop letting people perch on your life’s track- they might just cause you an accident, in which you will b the only one, hurt. Last but not the least….try to live in the present….