For the heck of it!!

bored!
aimless!
tired and numb!
well...its been a long time and i wanted to scribble something and did so!!
just for the heck of it!!!

guess i should do some serious writing...
my mind.....sluggish and at its laziest best ....can u hear me????

Those days!!

Well…well… as each weekend pass by- I am bidding farewell to my friends. They are either moving to other cities or are moving on with their lives- entering matrimony or motherhood status.
Saw Litty online after a long time yest and she breaks open the news to me “Nami is pregnant”.To which I reply-“ohh …wow... N so is Anju”…and then she says-“Tini too”!!!!!
So, we are prospective aunts to three cutie pies! :)
Time is flying and school days-a good 8 years ago- seem like yesterday. Feels like we all met few months back and that we are still those teen gals-giggling n gossiping- about anything and everything under the sun! Eager to explore the world, eager to know what life has in store for each!

They were all in the same class- commerce dept; and me and Linta, in Science. The bunch of girls from ‘Anakkal’ school was a topic of great interest to the other mates of St.Mary’s-the not-so-happening school. SAP=ians (that’s what we used to call ourselves even before we heard about SAP Labs). The SAPS hostel had a ‘Houseful’ board, by the time our parents decided to put us in boarding schools. As a result- about 8 of us were sent to this hostel-an arrangement between the two schools. This hostel was much better than our school’s. With a pretty compound, lots of guava trees, lovely garden, a nice chapel, and lots of nooks and corners to hang around. Moreover- it was 3 kms away from school and so we had the option to loaf around the town. The lemon juice at the chechi’s shop near Akkarappalli, the puffs and the chicken rolls at Kottaram Bakery, the Amala book shop- these were our usual stop-overs.

Talk about people- a crazy bunch of girls- a weird mix, from places in and around Kottayam.
The replica of an NRI-Litty (from Bahrain), with her wide eyes, funny Malayalam and huge bottles of Nivea moisturizer;
Tini- the pretty girl with long hair and pretty eyes;
Linta-the studious of the lot;
Nami aka Namitha (another NRI!)- the funniest ;
Neenu- the one who could sleep even while she walked;
Treasa – the geek
And my dear dear mariamma aka Anju Maria Kuncheria :). I have already written 2 blogs on her, so !!!

It was a nice group- one that instantly hit off! We were the noisiest in the whole building and each of us used to hate the study hours. The warden was a sweet nun- Infant Mary. No comments on the food that they served there…the maids in the kitchen were the villains. They used to stand near the place where we disposed our plates and made us eat the leftovers in the plate. I can count the number of weekends that I have stayed in the hostel. I used to rush home, every weekend-skipping the entrance coaching classes!

Studies…well…I kinda lost the flow -petrified with the syllabus and a flurry of geeks!
My brain was so adamant, and stood still against the flow of bits and bytes of Physics, Chemistry and Math. Biology and English were my favorites as ever and by the end of first term- I came to a conclusion that I would take up literature for my degree!But,fate had other plans for me.

2 years-such a short time and we were at the end of our school lives. Now, 8 years down the lane- after a chat with one of the hostel-gang, am reminded of few funny incidents. An earthquake, a mishap in the kitchen, etc etc…. more blogs to come 

Raavan!!!!!!!

chik...chik...chik...chik...chik...chik..(No, its not the chicklets ad)
bak...bak...bak...bak..bak...bak...bak...aaaaaaaaaggggggggggrrrrrrrr.....more srceams...continuous rain...mud(!)-stained facchik...chik...chik...chik.....(No, its not the chicklets ad)
bak...bak...bak...bak..bak.....aaaaaaaaaggggggggggrrrrrrrr.....more srceams...continuous rain...mud(!)-stained faces...thats all I could recollect as I came out of the theatre after watching the much awaited-Raavan!!!!Sacrificed -a Saturday morning slumber that was part of the ‘weekend’ package,spent abt 150 bucks on the rik, a breakfast on an awful and overpriced sandwich and rushed to the show that was at 10.15- all for this!!!
Even music by A.R was quite disappointing. This is the first movie of Jr.Bachan that got released this year, and mind you-the year is six months old.Feels like Beera’s role wasn’t tailored for him. Would have been better if Vikram himself did the role in hindi as well. I got a head ache listrning to the shrieks that was a part of the script. Beera- well, who was he? A bandit?a naxal? Robinhood?or a modern-day-raavan!
He is taking revenge on those behind the death of his sister and as the story progresses-gets diverted from his mission- cos of the presence of beautiful Ragini in his life. He gets carried away by her and is willing to let go of Dev(the Ram)- the police officer, just to make Ragini happy-revenge forgotten. The dus-sar-waala Raavan –fails to impress the audience. And I couldn’t stop laughing at the multani-mitti(!)-stained face the junglee croud adorns.
May be I expected too much from one of the most brilliant directors of the country. All I can say is that I regret the amount of money I spent on this piece of ART!!!

Life without you

27 days!!! It has been this long since you walked out of my life. I have been struggling to cope with my life in your absence, but it’s not as easy as I thought. I still cant believe that you are no more there…I feel you are there somewhere-hiding in a place, where you’re sure I wont find out… I still remember the day you came into my life, about three years ago… I met you at one of those busy malls in b’lore and it was love at first site- I knew you were the one for me. Since then, I kept you close to my heart…you were always there with me- from dawn to dusk ,in my good and bad times …you reflected my emotions- glee, grief, solitude…you were always on my side and I loved you for that….for the perfect companion you were to me…

On the fateful day, when my health wasn’t at its best, I was heading home from work. I knew something was wrong apart from my illness (intuitions!!!).When I realized that you were missing- I was frantic, but was too weak to go in search of you. I was too tired to think of you, rather- I was sure that you would be somewhere around- the over confident me!! But as time passed and there was no sign of you....I was shattered… It was tough to digest the fact that you wont be there to share my life-pretty devastating. It’s been 27 days now and I am still trying to get accustomed to living without you… You must be with someone else now…they might be taking good care of you…I wish you fall ill…wish your hardware fail…and the person whoever flicked you from me- never get to listen to you… Meanwhile I am hunting for a better Ipod- a newer version… Anyways you were pretty old and outdated… I will get a better MP3 player!!!!

Mountain of Light.....

History was never my favorite subject. I stumbled upon an article as I browsed the TOI website and the next thing I did was a little bit of research (me…research!!!). In the past half an hour or so, my GK improved-got an insight into history and am left wondering at the transition of our country from one of the wealthiest to a ‘developing’ or ‘third-world’ stature.
So, here we go…

63 years! After a pro-longed wait, finally the Archaeological Survey of India feels, it is time we get back-the precious possessions that we were looted off, by the British-including the Kohinoor diamond and the Sultanganj Buddha.Countries like Mexico, Peru, China, Bolivia, Cyprus and Guatemala will join India in this campaign-to get back the antiquities that they were robbed off.While these countries get busy preparing a list of the lost treasures, let us wish good luck to all the countries & to us!!As to what the 'accused' got to say-lets wait n watch....
Have a look at the article.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/India-wants-UK-to-return-Kohinoor-other-artifacts/articleshow/5999070.cms

Meanwhile....a small talk on Kohinoor-"Mountain of Light"-a 105 carat diamond that was once the largest known diamond in the world. The Kohinoor has an interesting history and many myths associated with it. The 'mountain of light' has travelled a long way, from the mines of Kollur (Guntur dist, AP) till the Tower of London-where it rests on the Royal Crown, along with 2800 smaller diamonds. Before it reached the crown of the Queen of England, it had been under the possession of the Kakatiyas, Raja of Gwalior, Moghuls, Nader Shah of Persia, Ahmed Shah Abdali of Afghanistan & Maharaja Ranjit Singh of Punjab. It was Nader Shah of Persia who named the diamond Kohinoor. He was so impressed by the stone’s brilliance that he cried out “Koh-I-Noor” in Persian that means mountain of light.

The priceless diamond is said to have a curse associated with it. “Only God, or a woman, can wear it with impunity."
The kings who possessed it, suffered misfortunes such as death or lose of throne. Legend says that whoever possesses the jewel will one day rule the world and that no man shall dare wear it. The fact that, Queens Victoria and Elizabeth are the only monarchs who have worn the Koh-I-Noor and lived to tell about it- is a proof that underlines the myth. If the British monarch is a male, the stone is passed to his spouse.

Kohinoor has been a favorite ornament to all its possessors, and none of them were willing to part with it, in spite of the misfortunes associated with it. Aurungzeb made use of the 'Koh-I-Noor' as one of the eyes of the peacock, adorning his 'Peacock Throne'. On Aurungzeb's death,the diamond went to Mohammed Shah, who chose to hide it inside his turban. When Nader Shah invaded his dynasty, an aide from Mohammed’s harem revealed the stone's hiding place to Nader Shah. Shah tricked Mohammed to a ‘turban exchange’, at an official gathering –in token of reconciliation. And the jewel gets a new owner!

Shah Rukh, Nader Shah’s successor- had to undergo tremendous torture before he let go off the diamond to Ahmed Shah of Durani Dynasty. Misfortune reigned in all generations of the Durani dynasty- and finally along with the end of the dynasty- the Kohinoor was bought back to India, by the Lion of Punjab- Maharaja Ranjit Singh. After his death,his son Duleep Singh-who was a minor then,entered into a treaty with the British. One of the terms of the Treaty of Lahore, was as follows:-
"The gem called the Koh-I-Noor which was taken from Shah Shuja-ul-Mulk by Maharajah Ranjit Singh shall be surrendered by the Maharajah of Lahore to the Queen of England."

Lord Dalhousie was liable of this treaty. The diamond left Indian soil in 1850, when Dulip Singh, aged 13- was sent to England, to present the jewel to Queen Victoria. The ship that carried Kohinoor had a difficult voyage-was it due to the curse?
Lord Dalhousie's great grand son,countries like Pakistan & Iran- are others who have raised claims on this jewel. Britain has denied any requests regarding return of Kohinoor and has stated that they would not return it to any country, as the diamond was formally produced to them as part of the Treaty of Lahore.
Interestingly, the first Prime Minister of Independent India renounced the claim to the diamond. He said, "Diamonds are for the Emperors and India does not need Emperors." Well, India is a democratic country and majority would take those words as coming from one Mr. Nehru and not the voice of the whole nation.
Our country has many issues to deal with including poverty, and the acquisition of a precious diamond may not be of pressing demand. We may not have emperors.But,won’t it be nice to have a diamond -the worth of which can feed the whole world for 3 times-back to our country?...back to where it belong…..

Go Green!!!!

How can paper bags contribute to the cause- “go green”- when its’ the making of paper that’s one of the main reasons behind deforestation!
Its ‘go-green’ day at my workplace & stalls are everywhere promoting paper bags. Irony is that; I saw few posters that has trees that says ‘please -don’t cut me down’. Quite a lot of paper has gone in the making of these paper bags –today- in this work place alone. Think about the paper wasted in the whole city, country, world….on just a single day!

Well, we are in a dilemma. We need to get rid of plastic from the system n the substitute is none other than paper! As we require more paper, more n more trees die!
May b we should try other alternatives than paper-when we say, “go green”. How about plant a few trees? Wont’ that be a better way of getting close to nature…
I have decided to get at least an indoor plant 2day…I know. It’s just a meager step. Still, I am not killing a tree, am welcoming a living thing in to my life…

Dogs & Me....

A weekend, one of those days when you got nothing else to do-other than watching movies n eating junk food…Today, I was doing the same…There are things to do, need to cook dinner, take a shower,get some groceries…am just plain lazy…just cant take another step from where I have settled…got a bottle of water,packets of chips n a cup of almost cold tea…Am just back from a trip to Mookambika and am tired- yes I excuse my sluggish state….

Saw two movies- The Ugly Truth (gerlad Butler!!!!!!) and Marley & Me. And the movie of the day is –Marley & Me…simple movie, and Marley has touched my heart. Marley, the wild wild dog that would have scared the hell out of me-if I were to face him in real…off-screen..



Well, I am not so much of a ‘dog-hater’. I would stay a good 10 feet away from any dog that cross my path. I am pretty scared of dogs….well, it’s a story that dates back to a misty morning of some month in the year 19xx, when I was a school-going kid- who had to fulfill the duty as a PA to her grandfather. On a weekend, when I was relishing the last few hours in my cozy bed, I was woken up by my boss-my granpa, and was asked to go fetch-Paappchan, the man who taps our rubber trees. I woke up- muttering things I couldn’t tell on his face & left the house in a hurry.As I neared his house- picked up speed and started running. I felt light steps behind me and saw him…a dog, his tongue out and legs-much faster than mine. Before I put forth my next step, I let out a scream- one that echoed till my home…and started running, faster- cursing the dog, Pappachan, granpa, my fate….The chase was almost coming to an end- I could feel the dog’s breath on my leg and all I could think of was a ‘blood stained Me’- fighting, to let go off the animal’s claw. Yes, it had caught hold on my frock-my beautiful black frock- and where would the next bite land!!! I kept screaming and more footsteps and voices- felt the hold on my frock release. I was free……god…no blood, am not hurt- yeah my throat did hurt from the screams…The dogs owner apologized and I remember-staring at her so hard that she stopped apologizing. I started walking to Pappachans house, woke him up. News travels faster than fire and so did my scream. At home, I was inspected for wounds. There was a scratch on my foot, one that was definitely not the work of the animal. Yet I was taken to hospital- & injected!!! Since then,I can never remember me being nice to dogs, or vice versa.



I always stay-away from dogs. If I see a dog coming towards me, I would cross the road. I am scared to go out on walks as I am scared of stray dogs. My friends-who know my phobia of dogs-, would play with stray dogs- to taunt me. Things change, don’t they? I met Pluto, my buddy Ashu’s dog. The first time Pluto came running to me, well, I did not scream- but was terribly scared. I shuddered at each barks, got petrified -having him around. I got used to his presence under the same roof- and started being friends with him. I was no more scared of Pluto. It’s Pluto who made me think of the positives of having a dog. Back to Marley & Me… it’s a wonderful movie for all dog lovers. Wont it be nice to share your roof with someone-who would love you unconditionally, who would wait for you-however late you may get, one who wouldn't complain and would listen to all your stupid talks and would never interrupt???



Well, I think it would be wonderful to have a dog. A buddy who can always be trusted. Now I guess, I should stop getting scared of other dogs as well!!!

Acquaintances

You are leading a peaceful life…nobody to order around, no commitments except for those at work….you are just free and your mind as light as feather…You are happy in your world, minus the occasional stress n strain. You crib about your work, of global warming, of other developed nations, of infrastructure. You live in another city-nostalgic about the green Erumely and Kanjirappaly- only to return to the urban life with a cry “oh, how I missed the Subs n KFC and Mc D”. You long for sun when it rains and pray for rain in summer .You are just full of irony, aren’t you?? On one such ironical days, am awake when everybody else is asleep….and, what you gonna read –my friend, is the result of my sleepless night. So, u better pray that I get enough sleep…

*********************
Well, this chap who hasn't uttered a word to me in all 4 years of college life, pings me all on a sudden. A smiley- which was ignored (don call me rude…I just didn’t have anything to talk to this person) Next day, a bold “HI”… (“ “).
You look at the social network sites and wonder at the new friend requests- have I met them b4? Is he/she an acquaintance?? I have this way of categorizing friends- best buddies, buddies and then acquaintances…


Talk about acquaintances…..There is this phase in relations when you wish,”oh, I should have never met this person”. Unfortunately, I feel the same about many people who came into my life. At school, college, work….everywhere, you make a mistake- choose the wrong people… Wait, it may not be some random people who just say a hi, bye or those regular just-for-the-sake-of-conversation terms. I am talking about those people whom you give that special place in your heart, whom you tag-the most trusted-most reliable secret-keeper, whom you consider your one-stop-solution to your entire dilemmas, the one whom you think-matches your wavelength. It’s all smooth and fun as long as you think its prefect. The word perfect, is one of the least applicable as far as life is concerned.

At some point of time…the color starts fading, wavelength-no more at synch; secrets just start bothering the itching tongue. The tag changes from the most trusted to the least in no time-from best buddy; to an acquaintance. You pity the amount of time you spent on a worthless relation and start withdrawing into your cocoon of ‘I shouldn’t have-s….’ So, it’s over. You start doubting your people judging skills. You take lessions on ‘how not to trust people’. You think twice, thrice…over and over before you talk to a person. You start being that extra cautious…Sum total of all these processes- you just got this scanner installed in your life- the one that beeps at everything and everyone ‘suspicious’.

Life is pretty strange. The person, who you are right now, is way different from how you used to be few years back. I can no longer laugh at the jokes which would have entertained me few years ago. The same goes to people, places and conversations. The younger me- was very different. Stupid-is the right word. And how I hate the person I used to be…. It’s not that I was mean or anything. Its just that the younger me made the mistake of making a lot of acquaintances- totally unnecessary, worthless and held them close to my heart. Believed -nothing is a secret in life and that you should just open your thoughts to those ears that acts as though- they are specifically designed to listen 2 u. I just thought…you ought to be honest. I still do think so….but with a slight difference… be honest to yourself first.

So, in a matter of 25 years, I have acquired certain gyan from my inner self.. Think twice/thrice/as many as times b4 you trust a person. When you make a friend, you have also made a prospectus foe. When you pour your thoughts to another ear-remember they are not yours anymore… Stop letting people perch on your life’s track- they might just cause you an accident, in which you will b the only one, hurt. Last but not the least….try to live in the present….

Fitness Mantra...

I was standing in the balcony of our flat- wired to my phone.Facing our apt,there is a huge house-one that shelters an old man and a lot of dogs. The owner comes out of the house-all dressed up. He started strolling across his courtyard.Well, the house has a huge courtyard-one that equals a small park.He and his dog continued their walk. Me... all inspired-started pacing up and down the small balcony. It was tough, considering the limited space,tiled floor and my slippers. Still, I continued walk- silently challenging my neighbor.(PS:- I was sure, nobody would see my effort-there was enough darkness in our balcony).Walk n talk..walk n talk...walk n talk...
After all, fitness is all in the air...

Calling it a Week

Incidents from the week that just ended

For us, a week begins on a Monday and ends on the Sunday. Life is a wait between the Mondays and Fridays, Every Monday/'Mourn'day begins with a hope...the weekend is not so far…it’s just a matter of 5 days. By Tuesday, “another working day (sighs!!)”. Wednesday: “Oh no, 3 more days! We should have a break in between these 5 horrible days”. Thursday is another day of whining and then comes Friday. All smiles…”it’s the week’end’ ”.

The week that just got over was quite normal. Few incidences…

One of the working days, Reached office….was walking from one building to another and came across a familiar face. Me, the conversationalist started off.
Me: Hi, wassup? Heard you were on leave?
She: yeah, went home.
Me: 2 weeks eh?
She: yeah, my sister was ill.
Me: Oh…hows she now?
She: well……..She is no more…..

I was taken aback. She was on the verge of tears and I was in one of those situations wherein you have no idea how to respond. As I was struggling to frame a proper sentence, she said a quick bye n left. I don’t think I would forget this conversation for the rest of my life…

***********
Dinner with my friend….
Venue: A restaurant that had a glorious past.
Dinner served. Poor quality food, pathetic interiors, bad service, etc etc. They wouldn’t provide finger bowl as there was no warm water!! Made a mental note, never to visit the place. As we waited for the bill, I got a phone call. The waiter came near our table. He asked me how much did I pay for my phone. I told him the price. The enthusiastic waiter announced that he has a similar phone and that he got it for a lesser price. “Oh…..Achha…..”, that’s all I could come up with. Probably he hinted that I should get a better phone!!! You see, I have a phobia for high end mobiles……

***********

Weekend…

Met few friends and had a wonderful dinner. Chinese restaurant… tried few strange dishes. Am no fan of Chinese food!!! But had a great time with the people around.

Went to landmark in Forum mall. These days I like reading books by Indian writers. Found many books of the same genre. Bought couple of them. After seeing so may books by young Indian writers…am all inspired to write a book. But, what would I write on???? Am at a loss of topic now…

The week just got over. Its Monday already…. So, it’s the wait for the next Friday…

Its the groom "HUNT"!!!

My cell phone buzzed…its just 8 am, on a Sunday morning…how dare someone call me at this time on a weekend!!!! My fumbling hands found the phone and the blue screen read “home”. Before even I could say a hello, words starting pouring from the other end. “B.tech, xxx nakshtram, 180 cm, working in Bangalore”….it went on…I listened with my eyes shut. “Log into Keralamatrimony site and check out these profiles”. I could envision my mother, scanning the supplement –that accompanies the Sunday Newspaper, devoted to the Hindu, Christian, and Muslim bride n groom hunters. The conversation paused:-

Mom: still sleeping?

Me: yeah

Mom: Its 8!!!(Very…unhappy)

Me: It’s a Sunday (whining)

Mom: hmmmm….. (It simply means, she is extremely pissed off)

Me: Will check the profile and call you back.

No response and I awaited the lecture that would follow. “devi, this is not how girls are supposed to be. If not by 6, try to wake up by 7 at least!!! Once you start your life at another place (that’s how she refers to my future -in-law’s house), you’ll learn. Be responsible, you are old enough…When I was your age…..”Well, this sort of conversation never ends….does it??? I listened, my eyes closed and wits- almost semi conscious. The line went dead.

Wake up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As usual, I couldn’t sleep after the conversation. Any talks with my mother (or whoever it be) that ends in a warning, kills my sleep. I turned sides, switched on my ipod..nah…no sleep… mom’s voice echoed in my ears.. She is hunting a groom for me and how could I sleep in bliss!!! That’s my job she is doing and I can’t be a spectator!!! So, I decided to wake up. With a steaming cup of tea, I sat in front of my lappy. www.keralamatrimony.com.... This is where I choose my prospectus hubby. On the right side of the page I can see the ‘success stories’ the site boasts of.

“Thank you Keralamatrimony for helping me find the one I was looking for all my life- Mr & Mrs X”.

The couple beamed in the picture that popped up above the message. So, this is happening right? People actually get married to those the site advocates -“this is your ideal match”. About 3-4 years ago, I would have laughed at this idea- of scanning profiles over the net and click on “express interest” and propose marriage to a guy. But now, being 25 and single- which is almost equal to an offence for girls in our society- leaves me little choice. Oh yes, I could bring home a guy of my choice- provided I satisfy certain conditions:-

1) The guy should be a Malayali

2) Well, to be more precise- a Malayali Nair

3) The stars w,x,y,z…do not match……..

4) The guy should have slight paapam in his jathakam…

(Nyone, remember having done titration in chemistry lab?)

Since I couldn’t find anybody that suits all the conditions put forth by my parents, I leave it to their will- the process of screening the profiles. Meanwhile, I have gained a lot of knowledge in astrology as well as the caste system. For instance:-

*jathakams can fall under paapam/shudham category-here opposites attract policy do not work, shudha jathakam can never match a paapa jathaam
*Stars can belong to three domains (gosh! can’t find another terminology) – asura, deva or manushya. Its better that the couple belong to the same domain/clan (clan sounds better na?).
Asura and Deva match : they might never get along.( My mom sites example :me n my dad)
Asura and Manusya (or) Deva and Manusya : an ook ooooook match….
*In the 'Nair caste hierarchy'…there are few sub castes as well!!!

So, now you understand why it’s better that your parents do the preliminary selection.

So, my mom does the initial calculation and then asks me to check the profiles.
Here goes the selection process:-
She scans the profiles of Nair guys over matrimony agents and newspapers.
Checks if the stars are compatible (educational qualifications too)
Later, checks if the paapam ingredient is present in the guy’s horoscope.
Calls me up and asks me to check the guys photograph over the matrimony site.

Now, the ball is in my court. I type the profile Id in the site and start search.
Wait for the page to open……a look at the photograph? (Well, who says looks doesn’t matter???)
If OK, then I proceed to ‘about me’- well, this is the tricky part- the funniest too. Some of the few intriguing statements that I came across:-
*looking for a girl who can cook as well as take care of the house
*looking for a person who will take care of me and my family, as well as work

There are very creative people who can talk in length about themselves and says aloud, “Your search ends here, I am the one”. I do appreciate their talent at selling their own profiles. But nah, such sugar coated words make me feel all suspicious, while the bold statements that says “well, I am this short tempered guy, looking for someone who can accept me as I am”-scares me. Oops!!!! How do I decide???

Well, I need to let my mother know my opinion. I give her a ring and convey my like or dislike. Again I enter a deadlock.
If I like the profile, she calls up the guys family and they get into discussions. They enter the next phase of checking the horoscopes. Now, the probability of the horoscope getting matched is inversely proportional to the probability of me liking the guy.

So, getting married is a process.
And I cant be a silent spectator to all these. Afterall, its the matter of choosing my person for the rest of my life :)

mA roAd to tRanSition…

As my orkut scrapbook gets filled occasionally with scraps that ask me "is that you?", "have u changed a lot?" etc. I look into the mirror. Hmm… there is this new hair style (a far cry from the long braid that I used to adore) and I did put on a few extra pounds. Well, there must be more than that...more than just a hair cut and weight factors. Devi differs a lot from her yesteryears. From the girl who preferred the shade of her mom's sari tip to the girl who hardly gets a chance to be with her…. Devi has changed indeed!!

My life's drive was quite constant till I was 15. Winds of changes struck my life as I started my life away from home, the school hostel!!! It was for the first time that I had to be on my own. Learned how to survive without amma's guidance, started spending money on my own. Those were the first changes Devi underwent. But they were reflected in no form. That is, people other than me n my parents could not comprehend the changes in me. Hence no one asked me the question. Devi was a quiet girl who seldom spoke or went out of her house; according to neighbors, teachers and school mates. Well, she was not that quiet at home. She frequented picking up fights with her younger sister and her short temper landed her in trouble with her mother many a times. Thrashings were no rare occurrences. After I shifted to hostel, I was mercifully saved from my mom's fury, and the rate of spanking reduced considerably. That was a change I liked the most. To add flavor to it, as I was no more a permanent resident @ our home, my visits were more anticipated and the sisters fought less as Devi basked in the glory of being pampered!!!

As far as my school mates were considered, Devi had the image of a shy girl, who spoke little; read a lot (non-academics), one who often kept to herself and was a bit too scared of breaking rules. Talk about "scared of breaking rules"- my class mates found it no fun sitting near me as I would not talk while the teacher is in the class. They used to taunt me for this. I believe if there was an award for "the most calm n quite student" – one that I bagged in my kindergarten; I would have no opponent even in school & college. I was a constant user of the "shhhhhhh….. "strategy in class, for which I had to face many unpleasant stares. All these earned me the reputation of an introvert.

After almost fourteen years of a 'not-so-eventful' school life, there came college. Even college life began with less excitement. I was still the same girl with the long plait who let no one intrude her own world. There was this major change- freedom from uniform. I had to do a lot of shopping to fill my wardrobe that had a meager collection of skirts and pinafores. We had a dress code in college that stressed on girls wearing 'salwar-kameez' or sari. It was all shopping for that followed. I can't remember the number of dresses I got, it was fun. It felt good, a life without uniform and a heavy school bag. Still the change was all in the color dresses I wore and a couple of non-malayali friends. End of year one, I started talking to guys… he he.. that was one major change. The shell that surrounded me was slowly breaking.

It was in the middle of second year, a major woe started haunting me. I got permission from home and decided to end it once and for all- the problem; hair fall (severe) and the solution; cut it short. One fine Sunday afternoon- me n Sanju(ma buddy) started working on my hair. She started chopping. The hacking went beyond the limit that we set and by the time I came out of the room, there were all cries of "why did u do that?" ," u went mad?" – from fellow hostel mates. Sanju tried consoling me telling "it doesn't look that bad, Devi". Well, I did feel bad as I saw those long curls falling down on the white marble floor. So I had shut my eyes tight so that I don't see them falling. For some time, it was not that easy to manage my new pony. I missed those long curls!! But the hair cut did bring some changes in my appearance. But at home, my new appearance was not accepted. My grandmother scolded my mom for letting me cut my locks… many people asked me why I did that n stuff. As time passed by, they forgot that once I had long hair, they just got used to it.
After my engineering, there was a break of 3 months before I started my career. Three months at home went smooth, and then I shifted my base to Hyderabad. Hyderabad days, those are the most cherished days in my life. Life filled with fun & friends. Those days of chilling out made me much more "cool" :) ; as we say. Can never forget the day I got my first salary!!! N how I felt when I shopped with that money. Going out with friends, movies, trips, treats!!! God... life was really changing.

The hair cut, few extra pounds, and change in my attire were not just the changes that I consider significant. It's much more; the journey from the introvert to an outgoing person took me lot of efforts and experiences. There were lots of situations where I had to struggle with less or no support. There were times when I used to believe people blindly and think no one can be a 'bad' person. Life taught me otherwise, to take time before you trust a person and never let someone be a priority in life.

Dunno if the changes were for better or for worse. But I feel happy that I can do many chores unaccompanied; I don't look for a support when I am in the worst of situations and I have the strength to fight when I am in deep trouble. For an outsider it would be jus the change in the way I look, but for me and many who knows the 'real' me, its much more than that….

Bansheeeeeeeeeee

Me & Spirits!!!!!! Well that’s a weird mishmash- for, ever since I had the known of the existence of this unworldly species, I am scared of them. The creepy sensation- of being followed, of being watched by a pair of strange eyes- is awful. Whether I believed in the existence of them or not- I was always scared of the unknown.
Spirits- do they exist or not!!! I have heard my mom talk about the ghostly experiences that her father had. Those half an hour long power cuts that we had (and still have) are times she would tell me stories of the spirits….

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My grandpa was walking with his buddy on a bridge across the Pampa River-they were on the way home. They strolled in the beam of Moon light and a torch made of burning coconut leaves (I don’t know what they call them in English). He kept talking to his friend all the way, and the only response he got to all his talks was a long “hmmmm”. He suddenly turned back and then was shocked to find that he was all alone; his friend a good 10 meters behind him. He waited there- perplexed. Was it the wind growling in his ears or was it some’body’ else?????

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Just behind my mother’s house, flows the river Pampa. As a kid I used to enjoy taking hour long dips in the river. Many a times my mom had to come with a cane to take me back home. I just love the place……so did everyone else.
My mom’s brothers used to play volley ball in the river bed and they would take a dip in the river after the game sessions. There is this rumor that many years ago; an old man- Paulose mapla- was drowned in the river. People say that they have seen his ghost take dips in the river. As these men dived into the water, there was this old man-taking a bath in the river. Was it the same Paulose mapla’s ghost that my uncles saw that day???? Well, till date-they believe it was him whom they saw in the river.

*************************************************

My mom was ill and she was alone at home. As she lay in the bed- unable to wake up; there comes our maid, who massaged her aching legs and made her feel better. She lay in the bed for some more time and then got up. She couldn’t find the maid in the kitchen. Later in the evening when the maid showed up, mom thanked her for the help. The astonished maid replied, “I did not come to your room”. My mom still has no idea who was the old lady who took care of her in her sick bed.

*************************************************
Well well… these are all the supernatural stories that I can remember :)
What happens to us once our breath stops, do we go to the other world- or wander the world that was all ours till we died?????? God knows, and yeah I would know when I be a spirit myself :)

No Entry!!!!

Year: 2009Country: India (the largest democracy in the world!!!!!)

We live in the 21st century and we are privileged to live in the largest democracy in the world. We can break traffic rules, spit on the roads, park our vehicles just beneath the board that reads “no parking” and empty our bladder on the road sides-it’s all our right you see….. nobody

bothers you, except the traffic police walla- who needs your money to pay his bills.

Our country is developing, even the recession that shook the US could not do much damage to our nation-lets be happy. Our economy is recovering very fast and our country has some of the worlds richest. Month of July witnessed a sensational law passed by the court of Delhi- yes, the gay rights legalized. We are changing….
Year: 2009 (yeah, very much the same)Country: India (Still, the very largest democracy in the world)

Two of my friends stroll into a park in the city where we live (pssssssss…..its KBR Park in Hyderabad- those lovely woods- you see:-)). We have been making plans of going to the park for long. The visiting hours are from morning 10 am to evening 6 or so. We had been there last weekend, but were late and so we could not go in. Finally, two of us (happens to be a boy and a girl) decides to explore the place on a weekday, before they close the gate. They were stopped at gate and were denied entry. Reason- “couples are not allowed in the park”!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Both, being citizens of the very- sovereign, socialist, secular, democratic, republic India- denied entry to a park since they were ‘assumed’ to be a couple.

They tried to argue, but in vain. You never know when the security would actually use their ‘lathi’ against them. They left the place- fuming with rage, helpless as they didn’t know whom to complain. Even if they did complain- would they get justice?

It is plainly a violation of human rights. The constitution prescribes us the right to move freely (am not talking about trespassing). As per the constitution, we-the citizens are entitled to various rights. The Constitution of India contains the right to freedom, with the view of guaranteeing individual rights that were considered vital by the framers of the constitution. The right to freedom in Article 19 guarantees six freedoms- of which the following is the freedom that is relevant to our topic.

• Freedom to move freely throughout the territory of India though reasonable restrictions can be imposed on this right in the interest of the general public, for example, restrictions may be imposed on movement and traveling, so as to control epidemics.

As far as entry of a boy and a girl(ah…… we are all 25+, so it should be man and woman :)) into a park is considered, they were free to move throughout the park- that of course, comes under the ‘territory of India’. What restriction could one impose on them? How could two members of the opposite sex walking into a park be against the interest of general public??? These questions could only be answered by those moral guards who come up with these weird rules. Kudos to their efforts in safe-guarding the integrity of the nation.

But, what would they do if two men or two women walk into the park?? They could also be a couple. So, would they end up chasing all the people whom they taboo as ‘couple’ out of their premises? God save these people and their mentality. Meanwhile, let us be sure of the rights that we are entitled to- as people of a free & democratic nation.

Lemme stop blabbering and readers…. If u haven’t seen before, below is the preamble of our constitution (I remember having by hearted it in my Civics lesions)

WE, THE PEOPLE OF INDIA, having solemnly resolved to constitute India into a SOVEREIGN SOCIALIST SECULAR DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC and to secure to all its citizens:JUSTICE, social, economic and politicalLIBERTY of thought, expression, belief, faith and worshipEQUALITY of status and of opportunity;and to promote among them allFRATERNITY assuring the dignity of the individual and the unity and integrity of the Nation;IN OUR CONSTITUENT ASSEMBLY this twenty-sixth day of November, 1949, do HEREBYADOPT, ENACT AND GIVE TO OURSELVES THIS CONSTITUTION

@ Home.........

Lunch time again n we were on our way to cafeteria. The menu, now almost by heart -- darted for the nth time in my mind. Suddenly a pang of jealousy struck me as I saw a lucky few carrying Tiffin carriers for lunch. (I do bring my lunch occasionally:-)) Home made food…... flavored with mom’s love. The good old school days rush to my memory. As quoted by my friend “we have forgotten how it feels being at home”.

Being @ home was never a privilege to me till my 15th birthday. After the flurry of board exams and the much awaited issue of results, I was going to my junior college. Well, the same old school and we were gonna ornate the clan of super-seniors there. But this year, there was a change. I don’t have to start from home an hour after the day break and I won’t be coming back just before dusk- for, I was going to stay in a hostel. I was no more a day scholar. The thought was exciting at the beginning. I was going to start a new life, new things in life always excite me and at times, I have felt the excitement undergo an early death. There was lot of shopping to do (and I love that part). Then it was all packing. Remorse crept into my mind as I was emptying my cupboard. I didn’t like that feel anyways. My belongings were tucked into a suitcase. On the d-day; me, my bed and my suitcase-as heavy as my heart and few drops of my tears found our way to the dorms of St.Josephs convent. I was trying to be brave. I am grown and I should not be crying. It took me some effort not to break down when my parents left, leaving me in a world full of strangers.

At least school was not new to me. Same teachers and quite a bunch of new faces- new classmates-all geeks:-)!!!!!! In spite of the excitement of being back in school, there was the solitude, being away from dear ones. I had an urge to take my usual school bus that would drop me right in front my home. But I was going to a different abode. I had to adapt to my new habitat-a niche shared by me and a set of new friends…Food was a real challenge. Our taste buds went through a series of tests with all weird combinations of food. I repented those meals I rejected for no reasons, in spite of my mothers pleas and threats. I was forced to hog stuff that I would have never thought of eating. There was nobody to wait for me with steaming coffee and snacks in the evenings. Food lacked the aroma of motherly love. It the hostel food that killed the much-acclaimed food critic in me (my mom no more believes the way I judge her food these days).

I was dying to get back to my people. It was a long wait- weekends…. I even skipped entrance coaching classes on Saturdays and rush home on Fridays. Now I longed for vacations so that I could stay with my dear ones. There was a time when I used to long for vacations that would free me from the austerity of home to the leisure @cousins places. But now I didn’t want to go anywhere.….. There were days other than weekends that I just had the sudden urge to go home and I just did go, there were times that my mom felt like seeing me and she came and took me with her, there were times when my mom had come all the way to give me a share of my favorite dish that she cooked. My place was still at my reach.

Two years went by and it was board exam and at the end of it was a long vacation-perhaps the longest one that I have ever had. I was back home- back to the pleasure of ‘being @ home’.
The pleasure didn’t last long. A few months and this time it was college. It took me away from my dwelling; this time-distance was a real villain. Weekends could no more take me there. Excitement of going home after a gap of six months (after 1st sem exams) gave me sleepless nights. Each time I went back, I felt like a guest. I did enjoy a lot of privileges –from menu that listed all my favorites to a full control of the TV remote control. The routine continued- the excitement of going home and the tear stained farewells.

Days have changed-college became office. After work, getting back to a place where I have no one to wait for……..my new abode. I am afraid I have forgotten how it feels to be ‘at home’……

We Shall Overcome.......................


This has been a very remarkable week, one that would be etched in our memories for a long long time…… We underwent shock, tremor, disappointment and all the worst feelings a life time can offer. We were stared at; laughed at, misinterpreted… as few hands stretched to console us, many others tied their hands back and made sly comments on –‘how they would turn us off if we ever went to their doorstep, seeking employment’ (as though they were the only employers on earth!!!!).

The news of the chairman’s resignation came as a jolt. It was one of those normal days….I was at my desk, doing the regular chores. There comes this mail, with the news of resignation. I was at doubt as I had received a mail of same nature, few weeks back. I felt it was another bogus, but I was wrong. It was the bitter truth and to make matters worse…. the resignation letter revealed more dreadful things. A flurry of mails, communicator buzzing with chat sessions, a frantic search in the internet to get more of the news. Workstations came to a standstill and the air of uncertainty became dense… We were at peril!!!!!!!

Answering the anxiety of dear ones was not that easy, still tried to convey my optimism to each of them. Discussions were going on at every nook and corner. But there was a rare sense of unity. Smiles conveyed a strange sense of understanding, it said, “I know exactly what is running in your mind, don’t worry”. The day went on as usual, as reality sank in our hearts and there was nothing we could do about it… We decided to call it a day and walked towards the gate, blissfully unaware of the commotion at the gate. We have become the subjects of ‘breaking news’ in the channels & the headlines for the next day in papers!!!! The media swamped the entrance… making our exit difficult. Somehow we escaped the crowd and headed home…. unsure of the future that stretched ahead of us….

Our living room was tense; seven pair of eyes-glued to the television screen, and seven minds - disheartened on seeing the name of the company being tarnished. It was a post mortem on a being in its flesh and blood and still very much alive &breathing….. They spoke of us as we were non-existent… Satyam is not just a single person/entity- it is not just few buildings of brick & cement- spread across the country and the world…. It has much more to it… Satyam is the dream and hope of 53,000 of us and our families. It is the very fact that brings identity to the huge number of us…. It is the bridge that connects us to the outer world… we are Satyamites……very might of Satyam…

As we tried to be positive and optimistic, a remarkable number of people did their best to make us feel ‘cared for’. People whom we held with a great regard, proved they are not worth the respect. They were the tempest, all set to put off the fire we have in our hearts…. They enjoyed every minute of our disaster and few so-called ‘fathers-of IT’ in the country reminded us that “we are not even a competition” to their firm. Well, we didn’t know that and will sure keep that in mind. We felt extremely happy when the same ‘father- figure’ said not to take in any of the Satyam employees in his organization and that he ‘wouldn’t touch a tainted company like Satyam’. Hats off to the support you showed towards us in such times of difficulty. We shall remember you all our lives for your ‘ethical’ behavior and the grandeur you showed in each of your comments on us.
May your firm surge higher on top of our rolling heads, and all the best to you…..

Another strong supporter was the media…. Such creativity & ethics!!! You should be highly revered for the kind of moral you showed in reporting things in their ‘true sense’. You will never know how ‘comfortable’ our lives have become because of you. It would be highly ungrateful if I don’t appreciate the efforts of the ‘Times Of India’ in conveying our true feelings to the outer world… on the very next day after the Chairman’s resignation, you promptly put a picture of two of our colleagues- ‘covering their faces in shame’ and leaving the office cos of the fraud committed by our chairman. It might be a printing mistake, cos we’re sure that you know that’s how ladies travel on these dusty roads- their faces covered in scarf to avoid dust & sun. And on a daily basis, you remind us on the difficulties we face each day- as members of a tainted family…. Your concern in our well being has been very touching!!!! Looking forward to such continued services….
Moreover, as we walk towards the office entrance, we feel glorified to be in the lime light- cameras focusing on our faces and reporters rushing to hear our comments. We have never felt this important all our lives. You people ‘make our days’!!!!!

How can I stop thanking those banks who cut our credit limits- they didn’t want us to over spend. They were trying to advice us- not to be extravagant and pay proper attention to our personal finance. Such care is overwhelming. Thanks ICICI & HDFC. By the way, we do have salary accounts at your banks right? We shall remember you the next time we get a credit card.

This is a glimpse of the lives of each of us- the employees of the much talked about Satyam Computer Services Limited. We are the much talked about population of the country- terrorism & elections sidelined. You have the right to criticize, comment the way you like, write about us the way you like… do anything that please you. Please do remember that troubles are never biased. They don’t stay with a person/ an entity for ever. It will be on its round, covering people from all walks of life. When trouble comes to us, don’t think we will shy away. We are a bunch of intelligent people, who can think and act. We don’t need your sympathy. We the pillars of Satyam-who has been taught to be a leader ourselves, cannot be written off.

MUMBAI:27th October 2008, Rahul Raj a 25 year old man from Patna,boards a city bus; armed with his country made gun ,takes control of the vehicle- injures a passenger. He said he didn’t have anything to do with the people in the bus; he wanted to kill Raj Thackeray.

"I want to kill Raj Thackeray. I have nothing against the passengers. Don’t shoot me.”

These were his words before he was silenced by bullets fired by the Police.
He was protesting against the attacks on North Indian candidates appearing for railway examination!!!!!!!!!!!!! He had to pay a heavy price for his way of ‘protest’. Can he be called a rebel? terrorist? maniac? As for the travelers in the bus, who were at his gun point -he would definitely be a terrorist.

26th November, the day whole nation froze while terrorists marched the city, gunning down people on their way. The day that told us how vulnerable our lives are. All we could do was browse the channels, not knowing which of those wagging tongues to believe. We cursed them- the terrorists, prayed for the dead and prayed that the whole nightmare would come to an end. As we ate and slept, keeping a close watch on the saga -there were many eyes that shooed away sleep, stomachs that craved for rations…minds full of peril, of being killed. Those trapped inside…… those waiting outside with hope of watching their dear ones step out of the danger…….those battling for the lives of the ones stuck inside.

This was something new… a new kind of fear. We were used to the bombs and hijacks, not of youngsters walking into public places, armed – ready to gun down anyone in sight. Kasab- the 21 year old is the new face of terrorism. None of us can forget Kasab, the daemon in him well disguised- in a tee & backpack, roaming casually with a gun. He looked all composed after gunning down lives of people whom he had ‘nothing to do with’.

Terrorism is not new to our country. While we have to fight with more Kasabs , we cant ignore the kind of Rahul Raj. Let’s call it ‘internal terrorism’. Imagine people walking into the streets- armed, to show their discontent. The lives of people in the largest democracy in the world are open to such acts of terror. We are now scared to go to malls, board a bus/train/flight, enter a 5 star restaurant. We wonder “where would the next blast be”.

While the Mumbai episode came to an end, we saw few politicians resigning in a hurry, making sly comments, laughing at the questions posed by the media. Is resigning the only option they had? Look at the politicians we have; a bunch of people with no common sense. A country ripped based on language, culture, politics & economy- is run by the most incapable of the population. Can’t expect much from the ones, who don’t even have basic education. This whole episode of terror attacks will be taken over by the opposition party as a weapon against the ruling one. As political parties wash their filth in public, the common man suffers with more acts of terror striking the nation.

The 26th Nov has sidelined the recent attacks on North Indians in the city. The anti- Marathi campaign has slowed down. Hope they remember the non-Marathis who laid their lives fighting the terrorists. Hope that the country gets stronger hands to steer the government. Hope the linguist differences come to an end. Hope another Nov 26th never happens. Let’s pray for our country and not just for the people who talk our language. Let’s pray for a day when we can walk the busy streets of our metros-Fearless..............

I have a picture of Lord Krishna and his lady love Radha in my wallet. I worship him as guruvayoorappan, Kannan, Narayanan…... The main idol in front of the Diya that we occasionally lit in our apartment is that of Guvuvayoorappan, the lord himself. Well… if the lord were to appear in front of me one fine day; I am scared- I might be a bit disappointed. Cos the Krishna as depicted in Puranas is dark and the Krishna I saw in Nitish Bharadwaj, is not. As a child, Doordarshan taught me Puranas (in addition to theory classes by my grand parents) and as per the B.R.Chopra’s Mahabharat, Krishna is tall, fair and handsome. That is how I still want Krishna to be… I hope he forgives me for me being so harsh on him… I will deal with him later (perhaps a paalpaayasam will do:)). So, the thing is I won’t be happy if I find my dear Lord, in the color of the stone itself. I want him to look like the actors who play his role in the television sops. So, it’s all about reluctance to embrace the darker tone of the skin…. It’s bowing to the feeling of superiority that the white skins possess.

I am not a white myself & I hate getting tanned and I know it’s the general feel. All of us run from the heat and cover our faces in scarf and never forgets to bathe in sunscreen lotions. We are still in search of the sunscreen wit the maximum SPF. The reason behind the panic is not just the U V rays … it’s the fear of seeing our faces all deep brown that scares us. We know that we don’t look good with a deep tan; the beaches and those sun bathes are for those models n Greek god look alkies’. It’s for the WHITES as we call them…

I cringe to recall how I felt when one of those old ladies whom I met at a wedding reception exclaimed, “Look, how dark she has become”. My college education in Pondicherry left a deep tan on my face and even my younger sister reminded me to take care of my color!!! I was quite chubby as a toddler and as I grew up I lost fat and color. I got used to talks like- “oh… how cute u were as a child”. I didn’t know how to react to such sly comments. Considering the speakers’ age and my mothers whacking skills, my response would be a polite smile.

We have this uncanny fever for anything white… anything foreign… Perceptions differ from one person to another. Fair people do not fit my definition of beautiful/handsome. But I have heard people use dark/white as the general term to describe a person. “Don’t u know that dark, tall girl/guy?”…. we categorize people as dark and white. Given a choice to opt between dark/white, we would opt for the superior version- the white.

Those creams/face packs that claim to enhance complexion never escapes my shopping kit. It’s the yearning to be classified as the superior of the race… to escape the criticisms from wagging tongues, of being tabooed as ‘dark’. Nobody likes being a dark; we don’t have the privilege to choose our complexion either. I still marvel at the flawless skin of those whites around….. n sigh at my deeply tanned arms… Am I not a racial discriminator!!!!

Am glAd- aM noT firEd!!!!!

As the red light flashed and the beep sound came off, I was relieved… I still have the job. Feel happy to know that all the pains I endured has not been a waste .Waking up at 8 in the morning (too early u know; esp as we are at the threshold of winter season!!), making a hurried lunch and breakfast, dressing up, and then finally the eventful race to reach office.
Talk about the race… it’s a painful process of having to bargain with autowallas- three different faces. A share auto from the main road near home to the circle; another one till Hi Tec signal. At least they have fixed rates. Third guy is the villain. Some of them just don’t agree to come till our office- “waapas kaali aana padega”!!!!!!!!! so they just wont come because they wont get a trip back to the main road. And I board one of those rikshas once the driver agrees to a fare of Rs.30!!!
Back to scene one….. after a slight make up session I enter the ODC and then with a pounding heart proceeds towards the door. I hear the beep sound and the red light flashing and I am relieved. To my seat and check my mails in a hurry- no dreadful mails!!! I sigh again and then start my work.
There comes- those nasty forwards. I get reminded of war times- the term “firing” is a nightmare to me these days. 30 fired from Chennai, 20 from blore… etc etc…
Well well… it’s like a tumor that is spreading across the organizations- across the industry. And I am one of those -scared of the infection...
It might just pass like a Tsunami- destructing the lives of few. But hope says that I be left unaffected. I really hope n pray that I be spared- that I have this job; one which I have started actually liking in the recent times (cos of the fear of losing:-) ).
The week just passed by, one mixed with fear and relief. Fear of being fired and the relief of finding things intact- the beep sound and the red glow!! It brings soo much of relief….

I am glad, I'm not fired!!!!!

Almost Single!!!!!!

Today is Monday, besides the hang over of a rather tedious yet memorable weekend- am back to office. It’s a lazy day here too, office lacks the usual buzz. There are few men clad in Kurthas-(its Diwali time)… many workstations empty. People sitting in groups and chatting. Me- am chatting too, on the communicator. There is no one peeping on my monitor, I can play games, listen to music….. Office is almost empty. Even if I say it’s boring, I love it this way- with no one 2 boss around. So right now I am listening to Roxette- “it must have been love… “ one of my fav songs.

The hang over of the weekend creeps in my mind… the Ramoji trip on Saturday. It was fun.. total fun after a long time… had a great time and good food too….

The highlight of the weekend was the birthday treat that Nikhil aka Pattar threw for us. Sunday evening, we set off…. Had a tough time locating the place- “our place” as it is called. Oh my…. the place was just amazing. My eyes wandered…. Candles everywhere, ‘diyas’ is the right word. Diyas lit at every nook and corner. The place was just… Err… Romantic!!!

The dim lighting gave the place such a dreamy aura. I felt truncated – I lacked the symmetry that this place demanded. It was so inappropriate to walk into such a place unaccompanied by the one who would complete the definition of the word- romance. I looked at faces around and there were quite a few who reflected my thoughts. So, those of us sighed deeply and walked in to the candle lit tables. We ate, laughed, had fun- it was a nice evening indeed. Still I had this “looking forward to the day when I would share this table with the real one” feel.

Life is actually boring when it lacks the special person in life. The one, who by my definition of love- is solely mine. The person whom I can cry to, I can laugh with, fight with, one with whom I can be my true self. Its not that I do not have anyone in my life to share my feelings- I am fortunate to have many ears where I can pour the deepest of my worries. Still I know I am not complete and the place reminded me of the sense of incompleteness. Life is just not whole without the romance factor in it.

I left the place, with the sense of single hood – a burden in my heart. Perhaps it was the place that stirred such thoughts in my mind. Yeah it was the place. So candle lit dinners and such romantic places are a strict NO NO to us singles. So what say u singles out there?????