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Annoyance
"Annoyance is an unpleasant mental state that is characterized by such effects as irritation and distraction from one's conscious thinking. It can lead to emotions such as frustration and anger. The property of being easily annoyed is called petulance, and something which annoys is called a nuisance."

People, don't panic. Nothing s gotten onto me... Am never that serious writer!!The above statement has been ctrl+c-ed ctrl+v-ed from wikipedia.

So, back to the topic, how often do we get annoyed?
I have a very minimum immunity against annoyance and nuisances. While those close to me can take my trips (they know the threshold) as much as they want -others, please do not cross the border line. (!!!)
I am not the kind who would lash out in anger, I am the kind who would lock you out- keep you in a zone, wherein you’d be tabooed- a pest. I’d swear to keep myself away from such pests. Here are some instances that happened yesterday, and I got infested by couple of pests

Over to the pests……


“Sree…. You look like an aunty”
Ouch!!! A tight slap, a whip lash an electric shock- would have been nothing compared to this verbal stab!!!
I looked at my tormentor, she stood there, flashing all her 32 and smiling at me as though she made a statement on national television. She managed to bring upon pin drop silence to the bay that was bustling with noise prior to the ‘statement’. I managed to snap back,” well, this is how I look everyday”.
She: Well, then may be it’s the attire, I’ve seen you on casuals on Fridays and u look bindaas on them.
Me: Then, this is my Monday to Thursday look (with a shrug to show my annoyance)

Couple of minutes later Miss. G comes running to my desk. Here is the conversation that followed:-

G: “How dare she say such things to you? If it were me, I would have taken her trips” (well, I have produced a polished version of her dialogue in here)
Me: “She was just trying to pull my leg. Its ok, leave it”
G: “Arrey… look at herself, doesn’t she have a mirror at home” (again, her words have been refined)
M: No more dialogues, I just chose to smile this time.

Communicator buzzed. Couple more friends who thought I was deeply offended by the dialogue pinged me and checked if I were alright. Oh hell yeah, she just made my day (&many more days to come)

If I thought I’d experienced enough of annoyance for the day, I was deeply mistaken.Here comes bug #2
To celebrate birthdays at work, we order a cake and later, when the money amounts to a certain figure; we collect the share from the team. As I announced that its time to collect the money, a co-worker asks me this: - “why don’t you accept sudexo coupons instead of money?”
I was just at a loss of words again. Why waste my energy and shoot up my BP with a conversation. I ended the conversation with a simple “No”, as he sat there- glaring at me for having deeply offended his suggestion.

These things happen every single day. If I were to list all these, am sure that would make a good reading for a later stage of my life. Do I want that? Hmm… I’ll think about it and write down, if am sure that I would laugh at it some day. For now, the purpose has been served…. i.e., you may have a laugh. And promise me, you won’t be a pest in ma life…. (wink)

Yet another struggle!

64 years since Independence, and the country says "quit India" to corruption. Its Anna waves all over the media and the social networking sites brimming with slogans against corruption and support for the crusade. I chose to be in the 'Manmohan Singh" mode. For those who haven’t heard about this mode before- it’s the recently invented pseudonym for 'silent mode'. We got to see a confused PM face his colleagues in the parliament- reading out from a script (perhaps faxed from US) - speechless to questions like- “who is running the country?” The otherwise charismatic and crowd puller upcoming scion of the Congress has suffered some severe damage to his image- with his snide comments.

While the whole country is united against the people we elected to rule us, there are many people like me- who has not done as little as snap a finger, for the cause. I believe, I have no right to comment on the whole episode. There is little pride in being a silent spectator, but I clearly do not believe in spamming the social networking sites with multitude of messages. I might not be right, but as action speaks louder than words- I rather not babble about a serious cause, sitting in the comfort of my home!

It ain't complicated

I have absolutely no idea why have I named this post "It ain't complicated'- when everything around me looks nothing less than a maze! This monsoon, it’s the second time am down with flu. Looks like I have a poor immunity off-late. Perhaps more greens n fruits should find its way to my plate. My definition of green is the yummy (!) salads that I get at Namdhari's. Ashu says 'yeeks' each time I tell her I had salad or anything that rhymes with it. I know what would she say if I tell her I had rasam papad n rice for lunch and that I am gonna repeat the same for dinner. She’d ask me to order a biryani or some ‘healthy’ food!
A slight high from the medicines, my daze shifts between the television screen, the lappy, the newspaper.... and so on and so forth. I have been inside this room for the past three days and I can’t wait to get out. Woke up at 7.45 in the morning, when couple of my long lost frens decided to rekindle old ties. I couldn’t be mean, and I managed to say few things in my croaky voice. A couple of coughs and they benevolently ended the conversation. I lay awake for some more time and another phone call from work woke me up. My voice and the coughs again, saved me explanation. Another day off!
A cup of Tata tea life and some Marie gold cookies- soaked in the same tea. There is an online world that is alive almost 24/7, n I decided to hit the virtual world. A bit of soulless conversations would be better than absolute loneliness. I looked at the list of people online. I did a mental calculation before I pinged anyone. I assessed the flow of the conversation:
Me: hey there... wassup?
She/he : Hey devi.. Long time...How are you? Where r u?
Me: am good, thanks. Hw abt u? W r u now?
She/he: am good da.... am in blore too... U still with satyam?
Me: yes... (Well, is that a crime, u grasshopper???)
She/he: so, what else. Wedding plans?
Me: Eh....of course, I do plan to get married... (Someday)
She/ He: well, u should seriously think about it.... (Blah blah)
Me: yea yea, i knw i knw.... (Have you got nothing else to talk?)
Almost all chat sessions come to an abrupt end. There isn’t anything worth talking. And I seriously cannot contribute to diaper changing and family planning talk. So, I end up anonymous in the online world. Last week, a friend said my voice don’t sound innocent anymore (!) what do I say!
So, I must be a misfit among all those people who have moved on the regular way of their lives and who really cannot understand their ‘chweet’ talks. I apologize and now I hope u understand why I never come ‘online’.
Was that the influence of antibiotics or abundance of sleep! there is manichitrathazhu on TV.....
Guess, I‘ve blabbered enough!

tHis aNd thaT...

The murmur of the slow running fan,
Chris Martin/Jason Wade/ David Hodges/somebody else crooning in the background,
Sunlight that seeps in through the green filter of the curtain that covers the single pane window,
the newspaper unfold,
steaming tea,
The absolute silence at times,
A cat that cries in the middle of night,
Those pink flowers that lie lifeless near the gate,
the dog-walkers,
The wet trees, plants & flowers,
The lazy me…..
Life goes on….
Round and round the very same things…
days to months to years…..
The speed is unnerving.

Feels like there is so much left to do and I have so little time.

The big fat Indian attitude!!!

I am proud to be the citizen of the largest democracy in the world. I love my country that boasts of a rich cultural heritage, of the intensely diverse population that speaks around 33 different languages, of the depleting, yet wide assortment of flora and fauna, of the incredible array of landscapes. In spite of all the differences, we relate in some unusual, amusing ways. Is that the color of the skin, the tone of our language, or the unmistakable accent that gives us away? There is much more to it, right? There are lots of things that we all enjoy despite the linguistic and geographic disparities- loud conversations, bargaining skills, hosting bandhs/strikes. We unanimously hate to stand in a queue, be on time, and obey traffic rules. We do not think twice before littering the public road or designing walls with the maroon pan stains or park our vehicles right under the sign that says ‘no parking’ and attend to nature’s call on the pavement. Corruption is not taboo for us; and we see a sudden population rise in places like Tihar jail. A couple of crores from the tax we pay have been effectively utilized in providing security to one of India’s top priority guests- who also happens to be a terrorist! We are well aware of these common factors that bind us and we tend to ignore them. Ignorance, they say is ‘bliss’. So, in the quest for bliss, we have accepted them as a part and parcel of our lives- sab kuch chalega!!!
There is a fresh wave of anti corruption crusade across the country. What began as a fresh breeze has turned out to be nauseating with the amount of politics and personal interests taking a front stage. As TV channels and other news media enjoy a non stop flurry of ‘Breaking News’, we the ‘aam aadmi’ are lost in a whirlpool of bewilderment. A persona hailed today is crucified the next day and vice versa. Midst of all this commotion, the common man continue his odyssey. He has his EMIs to be paid, inflation to fight, prepare himself for a recession that could be somewhere in the corner. He doesn’t care about people who write books labeling him the ‘Argumentative Indian’. He has set his own rules and priorities. Nothing or no one can change his big fat attitude.
“Why should I get involved in the mess? It’s dirty ‘politricks’ after all!! “.We crib about the facilities, about the infrastructure, and sighs “when would our country progress”. All of us cannot be the pillars of the nation, not everybody can find themselves in the Lokshabha or other eminent houses in the country. In building an empire, every stone that goes into the structure plays its own role. We may not be involved in framing a law, but we are the brand ambassadors of it. We cannot fill in the potholes in the road, but we could stop throwing filth in it. Little effort goes into doing simple things like standing in queue, following the traffic rules, apt use of resources etcetera. What is stopping us in making a difference in our own teeny-weenie ways? Let us not wait for someone to come forward and urge us to join the wave of change. We are the waves and let us bring the much needed change…. A change for good…For starters let us kiss good bye to the big fat Indian attitude!!!

Dear Padmanabha...

Dear Padmanabha,
It has been a while since I paid you a visit. I hope you know how much I enjoy a visit to the beautiful shrine of yours. The tears that blur my sight, as I stand hypnotized in front of you. You look relaxed, yet so much in control- the mellow glow of the oil-lit lamps. The sight is such a vista that I forget my prayers and stand, blind-folded in your enigma. Wish I could have a glimpse of the whole of you, but there is a beauty in the darshan through the three doors. From the time, my feet leaves the comfort of the footwear and kiss the coarse sand, I feel your eyes on, my every step. The cold breeze that strikes my face, the smooth stone beneath my feet…the aroma of burning oil, of nivedyam, of sandal, of ghee, of faith, of Padmanabhan…..
Each visit feels new to me, I come to you with a set of appeal, sometimes a bag full of complaints. One look at you, and I am lost. All I can ask for is your blessing. I know that you know what I want in life. Yet, I wanted to talk to you about so many things, things that went wrong, missed opportunities, wounds that hurt my mind, of the mild joys and occasional triumphs. In front of you, I realize it would be stupid of me to recite things that you are already aware of. So, I bent my head and ask you to be with me, take care of me and forgive my mistakes. I return, bliss hovering around me, like the smell of the sandalwood. The cold breeze that strikes my face, the smooth stone beneath my feet…the aroma of burning oil, of nivedyam, of sandal, of ghee, of faith, of Padmanabhan…..

Revival !!!

I have been talking a lot about writing….. Writing is good, is an emotional let go, is a stress buster...so on and so forth. Monday 27 September 2010, 6:11 PM: my blog comes to an unofficial standstill. Not that I didn’t want to write. I kept writing. On notebooks, word documents spread across different drives of my laptop. Things that I didn’t want to disclose, too personal-rather too mushy. None found its way to this page.
As my manager introduced me to a senior in the team, he said “perhaps she is the only one in the team who has got a blog”, I felt guilty. I have a blog and I’ve let it die a silent death, and I tell every second person that I wanna pen a book all by myself. I am talking irony here. Me- who can’t maintain a blog, is talking about authoring a book! While I still dream of getting my anecdote printed, let me do justice to what is alive and breathing at the moment. Lemme breathe some fresh air into this page. Thanks to all my friends who asked me, “no new posts?”