Acquaintances

You are leading a peaceful life…nobody to order around, no commitments except for those at work….you are just free and your mind as light as feather…You are happy in your world, minus the occasional stress n strain. You crib about your work, of global warming, of other developed nations, of infrastructure. You live in another city-nostalgic about the green Erumely and Kanjirappaly- only to return to the urban life with a cry “oh, how I missed the Subs n KFC and Mc D”. You long for sun when it rains and pray for rain in summer .You are just full of irony, aren’t you?? On one such ironical days, am awake when everybody else is asleep….and, what you gonna read –my friend, is the result of my sleepless night. So, u better pray that I get enough sleep…

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Well, this chap who hasn't uttered a word to me in all 4 years of college life, pings me all on a sudden. A smiley- which was ignored (don call me rude…I just didn’t have anything to talk to this person) Next day, a bold “HI”… (“ “).
You look at the social network sites and wonder at the new friend requests- have I met them b4? Is he/she an acquaintance?? I have this way of categorizing friends- best buddies, buddies and then acquaintances…


Talk about acquaintances…..There is this phase in relations when you wish,”oh, I should have never met this person”. Unfortunately, I feel the same about many people who came into my life. At school, college, work….everywhere, you make a mistake- choose the wrong people… Wait, it may not be some random people who just say a hi, bye or those regular just-for-the-sake-of-conversation terms. I am talking about those people whom you give that special place in your heart, whom you tag-the most trusted-most reliable secret-keeper, whom you consider your one-stop-solution to your entire dilemmas, the one whom you think-matches your wavelength. It’s all smooth and fun as long as you think its prefect. The word perfect, is one of the least applicable as far as life is concerned.

At some point of time…the color starts fading, wavelength-no more at synch; secrets just start bothering the itching tongue. The tag changes from the most trusted to the least in no time-from best buddy; to an acquaintance. You pity the amount of time you spent on a worthless relation and start withdrawing into your cocoon of ‘I shouldn’t have-s….’ So, it’s over. You start doubting your people judging skills. You take lessions on ‘how not to trust people’. You think twice, thrice…over and over before you talk to a person. You start being that extra cautious…Sum total of all these processes- you just got this scanner installed in your life- the one that beeps at everything and everyone ‘suspicious’.

Life is pretty strange. The person, who you are right now, is way different from how you used to be few years back. I can no longer laugh at the jokes which would have entertained me few years ago. The same goes to people, places and conversations. The younger me- was very different. Stupid-is the right word. And how I hate the person I used to be…. It’s not that I was mean or anything. Its just that the younger me made the mistake of making a lot of acquaintances- totally unnecessary, worthless and held them close to my heart. Believed -nothing is a secret in life and that you should just open your thoughts to those ears that acts as though- they are specifically designed to listen 2 u. I just thought…you ought to be honest. I still do think so….but with a slight difference… be honest to yourself first.

So, in a matter of 25 years, I have acquired certain gyan from my inner self.. Think twice/thrice/as many as times b4 you trust a person. When you make a friend, you have also made a prospectus foe. When you pour your thoughts to another ear-remember they are not yours anymore… Stop letting people perch on your life’s track- they might just cause you an accident, in which you will b the only one, hurt. Last but not the least….try to live in the present….

Fitness Mantra...

I was standing in the balcony of our flat- wired to my phone.Facing our apt,there is a huge house-one that shelters an old man and a lot of dogs. The owner comes out of the house-all dressed up. He started strolling across his courtyard.Well, the house has a huge courtyard-one that equals a small park.He and his dog continued their walk. Me... all inspired-started pacing up and down the small balcony. It was tough, considering the limited space,tiled floor and my slippers. Still, I continued walk- silently challenging my neighbor.(PS:- I was sure, nobody would see my effort-there was enough darkness in our balcony).Walk n talk..walk n talk...walk n talk...
After all, fitness is all in the air...

Calling it a Week

Incidents from the week that just ended

For us, a week begins on a Monday and ends on the Sunday. Life is a wait between the Mondays and Fridays, Every Monday/'Mourn'day begins with a hope...the weekend is not so far…it’s just a matter of 5 days. By Tuesday, “another working day (sighs!!)”. Wednesday: “Oh no, 3 more days! We should have a break in between these 5 horrible days”. Thursday is another day of whining and then comes Friday. All smiles…”it’s the week’end’ ”.

The week that just got over was quite normal. Few incidences…

One of the working days, Reached office….was walking from one building to another and came across a familiar face. Me, the conversationalist started off.
Me: Hi, wassup? Heard you were on leave?
She: yeah, went home.
Me: 2 weeks eh?
She: yeah, my sister was ill.
Me: Oh…hows she now?
She: well……..She is no more…..

I was taken aback. She was on the verge of tears and I was in one of those situations wherein you have no idea how to respond. As I was struggling to frame a proper sentence, she said a quick bye n left. I don’t think I would forget this conversation for the rest of my life…

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Dinner with my friend….
Venue: A restaurant that had a glorious past.
Dinner served. Poor quality food, pathetic interiors, bad service, etc etc. They wouldn’t provide finger bowl as there was no warm water!! Made a mental note, never to visit the place. As we waited for the bill, I got a phone call. The waiter came near our table. He asked me how much did I pay for my phone. I told him the price. The enthusiastic waiter announced that he has a similar phone and that he got it for a lesser price. “Oh…..Achha…..”, that’s all I could come up with. Probably he hinted that I should get a better phone!!! You see, I have a phobia for high end mobiles……

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Weekend…

Met few friends and had a wonderful dinner. Chinese restaurant… tried few strange dishes. Am no fan of Chinese food!!! But had a great time with the people around.

Went to landmark in Forum mall. These days I like reading books by Indian writers. Found many books of the same genre. Bought couple of them. After seeing so may books by young Indian writers…am all inspired to write a book. But, what would I write on???? Am at a loss of topic now…

The week just got over. Its Monday already…. So, it’s the wait for the next Friday…

Its the groom "HUNT"!!!

My cell phone buzzed…its just 8 am, on a Sunday morning…how dare someone call me at this time on a weekend!!!! My fumbling hands found the phone and the blue screen read “home”. Before even I could say a hello, words starting pouring from the other end. “B.tech, xxx nakshtram, 180 cm, working in Bangalore”….it went on…I listened with my eyes shut. “Log into Keralamatrimony site and check out these profiles”. I could envision my mother, scanning the supplement –that accompanies the Sunday Newspaper, devoted to the Hindu, Christian, and Muslim bride n groom hunters. The conversation paused:-

Mom: still sleeping?

Me: yeah

Mom: Its 8!!!(Very…unhappy)

Me: It’s a Sunday (whining)

Mom: hmmmm….. (It simply means, she is extremely pissed off)

Me: Will check the profile and call you back.

No response and I awaited the lecture that would follow. “devi, this is not how girls are supposed to be. If not by 6, try to wake up by 7 at least!!! Once you start your life at another place (that’s how she refers to my future -in-law’s house), you’ll learn. Be responsible, you are old enough…When I was your age…..”Well, this sort of conversation never ends….does it??? I listened, my eyes closed and wits- almost semi conscious. The line went dead.

Wake up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As usual, I couldn’t sleep after the conversation. Any talks with my mother (or whoever it be) that ends in a warning, kills my sleep. I turned sides, switched on my ipod..nah…no sleep… mom’s voice echoed in my ears.. She is hunting a groom for me and how could I sleep in bliss!!! That’s my job she is doing and I can’t be a spectator!!! So, I decided to wake up. With a steaming cup of tea, I sat in front of my lappy. www.keralamatrimony.com.... This is where I choose my prospectus hubby. On the right side of the page I can see the ‘success stories’ the site boasts of.

“Thank you Keralamatrimony for helping me find the one I was looking for all my life- Mr & Mrs X”.

The couple beamed in the picture that popped up above the message. So, this is happening right? People actually get married to those the site advocates -“this is your ideal match”. About 3-4 years ago, I would have laughed at this idea- of scanning profiles over the net and click on “express interest” and propose marriage to a guy. But now, being 25 and single- which is almost equal to an offence for girls in our society- leaves me little choice. Oh yes, I could bring home a guy of my choice- provided I satisfy certain conditions:-

1) The guy should be a Malayali

2) Well, to be more precise- a Malayali Nair

3) The stars w,x,y,z…do not match……..

4) The guy should have slight paapam in his jathakam…

(Nyone, remember having done titration in chemistry lab?)

Since I couldn’t find anybody that suits all the conditions put forth by my parents, I leave it to their will- the process of screening the profiles. Meanwhile, I have gained a lot of knowledge in astrology as well as the caste system. For instance:-

*jathakams can fall under paapam/shudham category-here opposites attract policy do not work, shudha jathakam can never match a paapa jathaam
*Stars can belong to three domains (gosh! can’t find another terminology) – asura, deva or manushya. Its better that the couple belong to the same domain/clan (clan sounds better na?).
Asura and Deva match : they might never get along.( My mom sites example :me n my dad)
Asura and Manusya (or) Deva and Manusya : an ook ooooook match….
*In the 'Nair caste hierarchy'…there are few sub castes as well!!!

So, now you understand why it’s better that your parents do the preliminary selection.

So, my mom does the initial calculation and then asks me to check the profiles.
Here goes the selection process:-
She scans the profiles of Nair guys over matrimony agents and newspapers.
Checks if the stars are compatible (educational qualifications too)
Later, checks if the paapam ingredient is present in the guy’s horoscope.
Calls me up and asks me to check the guys photograph over the matrimony site.

Now, the ball is in my court. I type the profile Id in the site and start search.
Wait for the page to open……a look at the photograph? (Well, who says looks doesn’t matter???)
If OK, then I proceed to ‘about me’- well, this is the tricky part- the funniest too. Some of the few intriguing statements that I came across:-
*looking for a girl who can cook as well as take care of the house
*looking for a person who will take care of me and my family, as well as work

There are very creative people who can talk in length about themselves and says aloud, “Your search ends here, I am the one”. I do appreciate their talent at selling their own profiles. But nah, such sugar coated words make me feel all suspicious, while the bold statements that says “well, I am this short tempered guy, looking for someone who can accept me as I am”-scares me. Oops!!!! How do I decide???

Well, I need to let my mother know my opinion. I give her a ring and convey my like or dislike. Again I enter a deadlock.
If I like the profile, she calls up the guys family and they get into discussions. They enter the next phase of checking the horoscopes. Now, the probability of the horoscope getting matched is inversely proportional to the probability of me liking the guy.

So, getting married is a process.
And I cant be a silent spectator to all these. Afterall, its the matter of choosing my person for the rest of my life :)